tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14958915154560208802024-02-18T21:44:16.053-08:00these web comics are so badPeople can't just read these just because they're on the internet. You need to have a reason. - - WRITTEN BY THE DREAM TEAM OF WEBCOMICS CRITICISM!Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-51164706472593438122010-11-16T16:16:00.000-08:002010-11-16T18:08:27.751-08:00Nickyitis<div style="text-align: left;">Sometimes a person has extremely bat taste, and it's hard to like that person. It's hard to give that person any of your time, and give them the care that a human being expects to get from another human being. Sometimes that person has such bad taste that you need some gum or candy. That person also has bad taste in Webcomics.</div><div><br /></div><div>That person also likes <a href="http://www.nicky510.com/">Nickyitis</a>, which is a proud comic that announces with great pride that it is a disease.</div><div><br /></div><div>What happens on Nickyitis? Who is the main character? These are both questions (take a look at the question marks. Those help to identify questions). Nickyitis is a webcomic. Nicky is the main character. These are statements.</div><div><br /></div><div>Who is Nicky? Nicky is, I suspect, just another person with bad taste. You need to look no further than his bad hair style that he has for his hair. A very extreme version of the "comb over," he has one big black zig zag hair that grows out of the back of his head and is "combed over" the top and front of his head. Does no one realize that this man is bald? I have little patience for baldness myself. I was bald for a time, but as you can see in this picture of me, I have grown my hair out and stopped being bald:</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguguz02A0645Oi2VNhq2jykcvOWDzmtT8N1UYBPctsl5iTB0j7-S_9nCuB4gnZ92BLUQNOEIO2nYW6vsBmiKqWYlVzD2QUq_-g53KwhQiLeE6iyV38M18Ov-x3HX7JgKdgRn2EPrnCyAuc/s320/SomeoneSaidIAmBaldThisShouldShutThemUp.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5540330525958396642" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Just look at a few examples of<a href="http://www.nicky510.com/comic/a-hot-research-topic/"> this bad comic</a>, and you'll see what I mean. Right here is an image of two or three cave people who have some very serious problems. Is this a good comic? I sure don't find it good. I just find it a poor version of what might be a good comic. Sometimes no idea at all is better than a bad idea. This has been proven, so I don't have to waste my time proving it.</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://www.nicky510.com/comic/who-needs-a-reason/">This comic is about the big fight</a>. Now I am all about violence in comics, as I think that it is an "ingredient" that can tell a larger story, but have you seen this kind of violence before? It is never explained why the characters turn into just heads when they fight. I have always prided myself on having an entire body, even when I am having a sailor fight. This is not a slam against amputees of course.</div><div><br /></div><div>Amputees, for the most part, cannot help that they are in the condition they are in. They should not be the butt of jokes, and it is somewhat cruel to portray amputation as a natural consequence of getting into a fight.</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://www.nicky510.com/comic/work-in-progress/">I find the very first strip very bad</a>. <a href="http://www.nicky510.com/comic/sometimes-ignorance-is-a-good-thing/">I also find the very latest strip particularly bad</a>. I just don't see what is so good about this comic that is making it so everybody is talking about it. It's not worth so much talk and jaw-wagging.</div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of jaws, do you think I would look good if I grew a beard? Here is a picture of what it would look like. Vote about it in the comment section.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi64eDHGOCixe7Re7bzoEMhKU1oqnX_810xLRlAYBTiT-EeFbFZRZno2IOmBqDbTTy160J5kCPP1fKXUQBoa9TzeyMAiVjaelgcBuT1lJaBTOsBk1y0UuAiGobD2q2TLT6Ccee6Eb1qh64Y/s320/INeedToGetSomeOpinions.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5540330534217315554" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of jaws again, <a href="http://www.nicky510.com/comic/its-very-simple/">Nicky's doctor</a> has very large jowls. I can't help but think that this makes him a worse character (though the author would probably argue that it makes him a better character. I guess that just goes to show that some opinions are more valid than others). I don't think that the doctor is a very good character, but he could be a lot better if he did not have those jowls. He does not dress very well either. Very stereotypical for a doctor. What's wrong with a sweatshirt or a blue pair of pants (he wears white pants. Everyone in this comic wears a lot of white due to certain limitations).</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://www.nicky510.com/comic/watch-where-youre-going/">This comic</a> raises too many questions, and I would love to answer them, but how much time do you think that I have on my hands? Lots? The job of being a very famous blogger is not an easy job to do. Some people might think that it's easy because they have other jobs that they think are harder. They think that writing a blog is as easy as just writing a play, or being a guy who sings songs all day and plays an instrument. That's not me. That's not what I do.</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJwFkJuaDESSefxuhEGIdMdqCJW8YzkFCQI283stLfMoB_DxssF3w8DlL5bsFiCvC7GSKmenF-23XLL5D6IdaBjMdSYxOgjyrszeZnCnNuz8Y5iXA5IB9iKtDcarpwl-xmA_X-lLrQQhTA/s1600/NotInterestedInTheBardicTrade.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJwFkJuaDESSefxuhEGIdMdqCJW8YzkFCQI283stLfMoB_DxssF3w8DlL5bsFiCvC7GSKmenF-23XLL5D6IdaBjMdSYxOgjyrszeZnCnNuz8Y5iXA5IB9iKtDcarpwl-xmA_X-lLrQQhTA/s320/NotInterestedInTheBardicTrade.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5540330539954720642" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px; " /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi64eDHGOCixe7Re7bzoEMhKU1oqnX_810xLRlAYBTiT-EeFbFZRZno2IOmBqDbTTy160J5kCPP1fKXUQBoa9TzeyMAiVjaelgcBuT1lJaBTOsBk1y0UuAiGobD2q2TLT6Ccee6Eb1qh64Y/s1600/INeedToGetSomeOpinions.jpg"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi64eDHGOCixe7Re7bzoEMhKU1oqnX_810xLRlAYBTiT-EeFbFZRZno2IOmBqDbTTy160J5kCPP1fKXUQBoa9TzeyMAiVjaelgcBuT1lJaBTOsBk1y0UuAiGobD2q2TLT6Ccee6Eb1qh64Y/s1600/INeedToGetSomeOpinions.jpg"></a></div><div><br /></div><div>The only time this comic comes close to being good is when there is a situation where someone might flip over at any time and reveal a new secret. That's what really gets me going, is when there could be a plot twist. <a href="http://www.nicky510.com/comic/its-everyones-favorite/">This comic</a> is a good example of that, because it has sort of a good thing going for it. I'm sure you can see what I mean when I say that the plot seems like it could become unstable and possibly unpredictable in some way.</div><div><br /></div><div>I suppose that I should come up with some way of fixing Nickyitis to make it better than it is. I guess the best option would be to make the characters stop going on and on and on about worthless information, and actually tell me things that make sense and apply to the characters. Perhaps they could describe themselves so I would know what's going on with them. Like this:</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhngE1psH3gakiz-cfYeePGT0bb5VOrbQXf__y1aZzoa4BCftnKpE0Rbs92megmBtm4KgjGOulCPN-yZE3aaSh6wgUzoWpv3O0EJgafp5SEYPtFCcQI2nwEiIcaE5eVfdbUSaOYuAWuIBYX/s320/DescribeYourself.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5540334611547054466" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 106px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>But in the end, Nickyitis is kind of average. <a href="http://www.nicky510.com/comic/dont-call-me-ill-call-you/">This strip</a> shows that there is a good side to everything. <a href="http://www.nicky510.com/comic/what-did-you-just-say/">This strip</a> shows that sometimes there are more characters introduced later in a comic. <a href="http://www.nicky510.com/comic/its-the-big-one-point-oh/">This strip</a> shows that sometimes the anniversary is better than the regular days. The primary message, though, can be found here in this comic. The message is that a kid can be a very irritating thing, and can have a zig zag instead of regular hair, and make lots of trouble for everyone, but in the end that kid is still a good character. I can't agree with that, because that is not my upbringing. I don't believe in being a bad kid with a zig zag instead of real hair, because that is just not what I was like when I was young.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPYwYSuuY4jhhZmwaM91h1AU6wTiBbA6SKRtQWXNjMk2b4aI_E-gD6MwsK40ZgotZdt-v6H4wEbW0l68Z_fc76OdKzBD_VvNkPgrkJEiF-q59YvK0Ry1Q5OCX2odUM76TyZTqM71vbYXZf/s320/IAmNotBartSimpson.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5540330517682030914" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Thank you for your time.</div><div><br /></div><div>(((((^~^~^~Sonty Mick~^~^~^)))))</div>Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02409008255835760020noreply@blogger.com69tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-61297045538452672472009-04-01T15:43:00.000-07:002009-04-01T17:23:36.732-07:00Achewood<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQUDz6FYu8heegP8GUYKDiXhBH_jDnC6xsCwwsU6rbk9FrzFxTLaOo2PsW0N9JeSw7Kb8hluc4WZvK5F-mMMwqir8vv8ErtxqX7ZBcGAJLeoVrzJ62cpmqKih0-aJ4_ySsvEq1bPuV1yjD/s1600-h/TheBetterWayToDoAchewoodInMyBook.gif"></a><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">What?<br /></div></div></div><div><br />What's that?</div><div><br /></div><div>What did you say?</div><div><br /></div><div>You want The Mickster to apologize?</div><div><br /></div><div>You want The Mickster to apologize for not giving you...</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">enough blogs?</span></div><div><br /></div><div>No.</div><div><br /></div><div>Stop being a baby.</div><div><br /></div>I will not apologize for not "giving you enough blogs." That would be like apologizing for being too much in love. Nobody criticizes anyone for giving out too much love, or being in too much of it, so really, I guess the problem is you. You have a problem.<div><br /></div><div>That problem is Achewood.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm sure that if you haven't read Achewood, you wake up in the morning with a really good feeling in the pit of your torso area. That is a normal feeling. I think I used to get that feeling, but when I read Achewood, it went away. I had a good feeling that Achewood was giving me. I don't know if you've ever read a little thing called The Constitution, but let me tell you, it has some pretty negative things to say about things that take away my good feelings. This research which took me a long time has lead me to conclude that Achewood is...</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkRfRx8VdWxaIUlbwl_X-sDoEIik70oGMQoGDmc-wfrFMRDznD6Q3uvw6OT6kDBsaexA4ihYKvgLIiB9ZQHbpiN9Poxpx3OTXibEv8vaIVdDygA67KPz7nswp07HSpyqnLr2QVCjX8Yp4B/s320/unconstitutional.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319882370880109970" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 125px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>OK, let me tell you what this "comic" that calls itself a comic is all about: An ugly bear who wears glasses and tasteless swimwear is probably the president of something. We are never told what he is the president of, we just see him <a href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09022005">rolling on skates</a> and <a href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11082005">sitting on a nozzle</a>. I can tell you one thing, he's not the president of the United States, because the American people wouldn't elect a man who absolutely hated the constitution so much without even pretending to like it.</div><div><br /></div><div>You'd think he'd at least make a show of pretending to like it, but when you have Sonty Mick's Powerful Nose For Sniffing Out This Kind Of Stuff, you can tell that even on a molecular level he is not even pretending a tiny bit. That's politics for you.</div><div><br /></div><div>Another character is a little smiling bean that <a href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10252001">wants to be part of a golf course</a>. I don't know why a bean would smile, but believe me, Christ Onstead (no joke, he thinks he's Jesus and that is what he says his name is) has no interest in telling you why it smiles so much. Oh, and because of this strip, children no longer have ambitions.</div><div><br /></div><div>What other characters are there? There is also a piece of roast beef that turned into a cat. You can really tell that "Christ" Onstead is really running out of ideas.</div><div><br /></div><div>Also there are some robots, and let me tell you, there is nothing less interesting than robots that are realistically like what robots would be like. Would you want to watch a robot that only knows how to march in a line and blink two lights that are different colors? Apparently that never occurred to Mr. Savior of the Webcomics World (sarcastic).</div><div><br /></div><div>But I'm getting way off topic here, and it really shows. I need to give you some real facts about Achewood and what makes it tick. Here's a list of themes that come up a lot in Achewood.</div><div><br /></div><div><ul><li><a href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05302003">Machines are superior to Americans.</a></li><li><a href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02182004">Most shovels aren't very high quality these days, leading to most people only wanting to dig very shallow holes.</a></li><li><a href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12022004">Loud people should be tolerated, even on the radio where they can cause car accidents by being too loud.</a></li><li><a href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02272004">Nobody can actually be considered an American.</a></li><li><a href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07052005">Everyone has a skeleton</a> (Sonty's note: In reality this is not true of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earthworm">some</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slug">species</a>.)</li><li><a href="http://www.shreddedmoose.com/comic/comic_arc.php?comicID=74">It's OK to do bad things to women.</a></li><li><a href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05032006">If mankind doesn't change their ways, nature will fight back.</a></li><li><a href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02202003">America isn't a very good country, even for poor people.</a></li></ul>Now as you can see, this adds up to be a pretty bad message that not a lot of people are going to want to see tought to young people and even some people whose age is hard to determine due to a disease that makes them look the wrong age. That's right. Achewood is a...</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih5pLlf_-178aPMYBqgARWR6atixIpLQQdx-HRR0LPmB8tk-tosy5ndQn9yno3wgaTSf7IQVHhtEfTCmuqgiS4Aj7QWgT051Jt24DilHcWl8jIIbVGt65IwKQ66eNbZbjMPmNN4pJm4HjU/s320/badinfluence.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319882358663965586" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 125px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>I'm sorry to tell you these things, especially when they probably make you get emotional, but what do I look like, your mom? Only if your mom is really cool, that's all I have to contribute to that discussion of who looks like your mom.</div><div><br /></div><div>So...What else would you like me to say about Achewood?</div><div><br /></div><div>What's that? You think Achewood should end forever right now?</div><div><br /></div><div>OK, let me just press this "end achewood forever" button.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's right over here.</div><div><br /></div><div>Just kidding folks. That's just a little "April Fools" joke for you. I don't have a button to make Achewood end for good. I wish i did, but if I got everything I wished for, then I would have a life exactly like my life only there wouldn't be any of the bad web comics on this blog. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that I have written reviews of and a few that I haven't done a review of yet.</div><div><br /></div><div>Achewood never ends. It just keeps on going and going, and if you ask me, that's the worst part. Can you imagine watching a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">movie</span> that didn't end? I'll bet you wouldn't stand for <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">that</span>. That's why my third main criticism of Achewood is that it is hopelessly...</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjniGmOS_eB5Um-gYu83zPAWhkQHOSiDbkxVzSn1tfYDoHaEMPhdzep56aKx26NrPTyvCLnM4YNIYZwW5kCSqdar5i1_FWpinzXHwi0Na7UieFQp33mYC5b8hBxTlvLkzRD3XQ65X4_KVOT/s1600-h/Eternal.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjniGmOS_eB5Um-gYu83zPAWhkQHOSiDbkxVzSn1tfYDoHaEMPhdzep56aKx26NrPTyvCLnM4YNIYZwW5kCSqdar5i1_FWpinzXHwi0Na7UieFQp33mYC5b8hBxTlvLkzRD3XQ65X4_KVOT/s320/Eternal.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319882361786173218" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 125px; " /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>So what can you do? What can we do to make sure that America isn't ruined by Achewood? What do I want you to do now?</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know.</div><div><br /></div><div>But here's what I think the new, more patriotic Achewood should be like:</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQUDz6FYu8heegP8GUYKDiXhBH_jDnC6xsCwwsU6rbk9FrzFxTLaOo2PsW0N9JeSw7Kb8hluc4WZvK5F-mMMwqir8vv8ErtxqX7ZBcGAJLeoVrzJ62cpmqKih0-aJ4_ySsvEq1bPuV1yjD/s1600-h/TheBetterWayToDoAchewoodInMyBook.gif"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQUDz6FYu8heegP8GUYKDiXhBH_jDnC6xsCwwsU6rbk9FrzFxTLaOo2PsW0N9JeSw7Kb8hluc4WZvK5F-mMMwqir8vv8ErtxqX7ZBcGAJLeoVrzJ62cpmqKih0-aJ4_ySsvEq1bPuV1yjD/s320/TheBetterWayToDoAchewoodInMyBook.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319882376165865154" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 222px; " /></a><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>It's a pretty good dream. Don't know why I'm telling you though, because I'm the only one who ever gets anything done around here.</div><div><br /></div><div>(((---@#@#@#--Sonty Mick--#@#@#@---)))</div>Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02409008255835760020noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-72958537469361770512008-05-29T00:04:00.000-07:002008-05-29T00:59:00.453-07:00Nintendo Super SquadOK so I needed to back off for a bit and cool down.<br /><br />Actually, the thing that I actually needed to do was to just kick off my shoes (could they be cowboy boots?) and just enjoy a good healthy laugh. You see, when I did the thing where I said I was quitting the business, that was April Fool's Day. It was a joke, because if I were to stop reviewing the worst of the worst, then that would be a grim day, and someone who I don't like would probably get elected. Nothing brings out the voters like voting against a quitter.<br /><br />But I had to stay away for a while (even though I associated great pain with the idea) because if I had let it be a short joke, then my April Fool joke would not be a very good joke. It would be <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_%28music%29">flat</a>. That's not something that I want. That's not something that you want either. In order for me to tell the best joke that could be told, I needed to give it some time to sink in, that way everybody could get stressed about it and maybe that would help them lose weight.<br /><br />But the fact is, the joke is over and it is time to stop laughing or you are going to look ridiculous when the weather starts clearing up.<br /><br />Speaking of weather, who knows "weather" <a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Nintendo_Super_Squad/">Nintendo Super Squad</a> is a good comic?<br /><br />(Me)<br /><br />(I know that it is not a good comic)<br /><br />So what's left after we use process of elimination to eliminate it maybe being a good comic?<br /><br />IT IS A BAD COMIC<br /><br />If you don't believe me, then I guess the proof is in the plumbing. And oh boy is this plumbing leaky. This plumbing is so leaky that if you tried to store information about an upcoming Harry Potter book in it, then boy oh boy would you have some disappointed fans as a man in a pinstriped suit rode around in the back of a convertible like in a parade with a megaphone yelling out which characters were going to die, and what was going to happen to Harry Potter.<br /><br />If you don't think that's leaky plumbing, then I guess you really are a lost cause. Everybody knows that the endings to Harry Potter books are kept very secret.<br /><br />So what's the big deal then? Why am I reviewing this comic?<br /><br />Because some foxy lady won a contest, and then didn't try to seduce me (that was a test and she passed.)<br /><br />Want to know what I really, really hate about this comic? Of course you do! Because you secretly hope that I will agree with what you hate.<br /><br />The first thing that I hate is <a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Nintendo_Super_Squad/index.php?p=238982">this strip</a>.<br /><br />The second thing is <a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Nintendo_Super_Squad/index.php?p=223697">this strip</a>.<br /><br />The third thing is <a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Nintendo_Super_Squad/index.php?p=205028">this strip</a>.<br /><br />If I were to write out a list of all the things that I hate about Nintendo Super Squad, then there would be a list 102 different things that I hate, and all of them would be strips from the archive of this comic. That's every strip. 102 strips, and I hate every single one.<br /><br />See the thing that I hate is actually not the premise of the strip, and it's not the characters of the strip either. It's not the art, and it's not the web site, and it's not the way that you know what one of the characters is thinking when his eyes go wide, and you see into his brain almost, and it's not the feeling I get in my bladder area when I read it that tells me I may never urinate again. It's not the style, and it's not the topics, and it's not the obvious right wing bias, and it's not the spelling errors that seem to happen whenever things get hairy. It's not the tone, and it's not all the Freudian stuff, and it's not the smell of an old grandfather clock that wafts out of my monitor uniquely when I am reading Nintendo Super Squad.<br /><br />What I hate is every individual installment on its own in a unique way.<br /><br />Can I say why? I wouldn't be much of a reviewer if I could!<br /><br />I can't tell you why because you wouldn't ever get a chance to explore, and that's bad for your exploring and your ideas about exploring.<br /><br />I will show you. Through dance.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaYApR0XG3oXQek5DuQaY-7rjxDGUNizyIGgrXdGlTc_kJQ_UEn4rysVdFIGBQnv1QRLXb5X4eTUFwbUWPk5U66kOKXaKxkZcvlkuwuV1dAgyLwdu2KKkAMVYx8N9n8SbcSWZ2c3QNnfw/s1600-h/MeDoingMyCopyrightedDance.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaYApR0XG3oXQek5DuQaY-7rjxDGUNizyIGgrXdGlTc_kJQ_UEn4rysVdFIGBQnv1QRLXb5X4eTUFwbUWPk5U66kOKXaKxkZcvlkuwuV1dAgyLwdu2KKkAMVYx8N9n8SbcSWZ2c3QNnfw/s400/MeDoingMyCopyrightedDance.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5205703853357475506" border="0" /></a>The first thing I want to tell you is that I did <span style="font-style: italic;">actually do</span> all of these moves. I actually was able to do all of that because I am in shape. Since I had to lie low from blogging for my big joke, I was able to find more time for another hobby of mine; working out. Since I did that, I am now very, very buff, believe me. I thought that I was buff before, but now I have taken a turn for the super-buff. Expect to see me soon in your field of vision because my muscles will be so big that they can be viewed from anywhere in the world.<br /><br />Secondly, I want to remind you all that dance moves <span style="font-style: italic;">can be copyrighted</span>. This dance is copyrighted, and if you steal it then that is against the law. Do not perform my dance for profit or for any reason at all. The only reason that you are allowed to perform these moves is if you feel the same way as I do about Nintendo Super Squad, and this is the <span style="font-style: italic;">only</span> way that you can express yourself about it.<br /><br />Thirdly I want to apologize for the fact that some of my moves may have been a little bit provocative. I tried to keep it PG 13, but I'm afraid that some of those moves are very bad for kids. I could not keep it family friendly because my rage at Nintendo Super Squad is very unfriendly to the American family, and I needed to get that one out of my system. If it bothers you, then I know a place where if you mail them an empty envelope, they will send it back to you with a free cigar in it. Maybe that would help in the long run.<br /><br />Fourthly, I want you to know that this dance is my gift to Nintendo Super Squad (even though I still own the copyright.) Learn from it, or you will be forced to repeat your mistakes.<br /><br />+-((@@-+-Sonty Mick-+-@@))-+Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com366tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-5821299005519394942008-04-01T14:19:00.000-07:002008-04-01T14:29:13.133-07:00Change of Format<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIugMaAwARTOatCPlk4NWOKYd8nHG7LPaqSsMsxKge_MPnvVmEOy97TEJqow6LQqpWWNk8pTq7nlwuh3C8K0Jz0GBTdbjD0JDdYUtlbcIDjhLNZNL0uj0Df7xf8lq8A7xOgYZMvvqDyoA/s1600-h/WhatAreYou.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIugMaAwARTOatCPlk4NWOKYd8nHG7LPaqSsMsxKge_MPnvVmEOy97TEJqow6LQqpWWNk8pTq7nlwuh3C8K0Jz0GBTdbjD0JDdYUtlbcIDjhLNZNL0uj0Df7xf8lq8A7xOgYZMvvqDyoA/s400/WhatAreYou.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184392006804249330" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-NbRoifrYaMFUgBCysfsO4B3G-7YwIiGBVxVNe3BaIatGq04sYXVtxPGky4VCARmyfdB5s5cjljqMCPY1-c2mxASW1qhu0ETnkpTEuPwc11fzQ2OZp79jXDhT3A7A3RvgqU65XrmQXwI/s1600-h/wildlife.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-NbRoifrYaMFUgBCysfsO4B3G-7YwIiGBVxVNe3BaIatGq04sYXVtxPGky4VCARmyfdB5s5cjljqMCPY1-c2mxASW1qhu0ETnkpTEuPwc11fzQ2OZp79jXDhT3A7A3RvgqU65XrmQXwI/s400/wildlife.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184392011099216642" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaXcPK08S4fdJEbxeGBmjFTO9F7kthtppiRDSfMIBB5kbsRlDtT0as8SDscfN7DNqwME5ULTl7knrZpDffMmlnn9QdjFWCLlt2c4Zkh4DeL5auLgXE0ofB2q1EchQHn7vSgqA8XbpJipw/s1600-h/WoDoYouThinkIAm.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaXcPK08S4fdJEbxeGBmjFTO9F7kthtppiRDSfMIBB5kbsRlDtT0as8SDscfN7DNqwME5ULTl7knrZpDffMmlnn9QdjFWCLlt2c4Zkh4DeL5auLgXE0ofB2q1EchQHn7vSgqA8XbpJipw/s400/WoDoYouThinkIAm.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184392019689151250" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqPDzo5lHY5XmhxKq17zpfjx1D7pgZIcZxWSOJvzwk4ySHoNXkZ_0XUypfjsdk95qPXV90xMFP-rXAutzAE1Bwtkr5HRe-NHHg0O2EjHCTCuKZyTWPpp_tZw5Da9y2jY0le5R9H5O2f2U/s1600-h/BadForBusiness.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqPDzo5lHY5XmhxKq17zpfjx1D7pgZIcZxWSOJvzwk4ySHoNXkZ_0XUypfjsdk95qPXV90xMFP-rXAutzAE1Bwtkr5HRe-NHHg0O2EjHCTCuKZyTWPpp_tZw5Da9y2jY0le5R9H5O2f2U/s400/BadForBusiness.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184391701861571234" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP_otRssuFNRoRveH0s6AFFKKd_rmZGiLwZnfW83s9rDBuEJ_RRiDo_Eub0sjX5QSuAHu8sXxls3UtK1sd4Cgoff6_YcOIOH955jhIfwgedfHYlF-YLEf38CCgn8nPFXrEgvenJtABad4/s1600-h/FigureItOutPutz.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP_otRssuFNRoRveH0s6AFFKKd_rmZGiLwZnfW83s9rDBuEJ_RRiDo_Eub0sjX5QSuAHu8sXxls3UtK1sd4Cgoff6_YcOIOH955jhIfwgedfHYlF-YLEf38CCgn8nPFXrEgvenJtABad4/s400/FigureItOutPutz.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184391706156538546" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvjsaV7khAeJnTbsCVQ4-ynJbIgtdPQ8MX5Uj9neXB3zwkYNgPTAxUimydgA6ClwvvZ7fpav3COCaQEWd0o41nqgPrOz9lYqTD_vUkh7wrHg_bE6rfhsI9EF2POPrBZqCyurXqTyHV0IY/s1600-h/GlaswsHouses.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvjsaV7khAeJnTbsCVQ4-ynJbIgtdPQ8MX5Uj9neXB3zwkYNgPTAxUimydgA6ClwvvZ7fpav3COCaQEWd0o41nqgPrOz9lYqTD_vUkh7wrHg_bE6rfhsI9EF2POPrBZqCyurXqTyHV0IY/s400/GlaswsHouses.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184391706156538562" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF0F0_QYMOmP0xWmxid4XAlp_Mm2Hv5umbLsUTVgokaGMqKJK0uFRkSfSu9PoWZUReOc13UtQp44bXTJO5fUW643nEm9KJ7Z28Y37pZ4U_8961qXKPHCK9Hmiq2JmdEPgBHgUyxXy3vJ4/s1600-h/ItIsNotRocketScience.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF0F0_QYMOmP0xWmxid4XAlp_Mm2Hv5umbLsUTVgokaGMqKJK0uFRkSfSu9PoWZUReOc13UtQp44bXTJO5fUW643nEm9KJ7Z28Y37pZ4U_8961qXKPHCK9Hmiq2JmdEPgBHgUyxXy3vJ4/s400/ItIsNotRocketScience.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184391714746473170" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3GzQl3vN3jITRhUB7aqUa7_T8w1oR8LpDIQ78NTj2oqZYp1JRjHGiGA9DssOVhFKuhj5f_QllLTHeSAoMH_FPgO6DcyD7DZ_rdDukVQnsRMZ8wYoZUXtEWv5vGEX9eKqJfyCBhRfLX-o/s1600-h/TheEnd.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3GzQl3vN3jITRhUB7aqUa7_T8w1oR8LpDIQ78NTj2oqZYp1JRjHGiGA9DssOVhFKuhj5f_QllLTHeSAoMH_FPgO6DcyD7DZ_rdDukVQnsRMZ8wYoZUXtEWv5vGEX9eKqJfyCBhRfLX-o/s400/TheEnd.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184391719041440482" border="0" /></a><br />Hey guys, I got tired of writing the best blog out there, so I'm switching. Now all that I am going to do is post pictures of the United States.Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-31282243810276409132008-03-12T01:20:00.000-07:002008-03-17T14:54:08.625-07:00Dinosaur ComicsOK, first of all I need to explain to you all why I have been gone: The primary reason, and I say this from the bottom of my heart, is that I needed to spend some time finding myself. I needed to just get going and get out, and bet the kind of guy who understands who he is. Now that I have spent some time on a small boat, I think that I know who I am.<br /><br />Everyone should know who they are, because if you know that then you can easily predict what you are going to do next. If you can't do that, then don't come crying to me when you commit a murder, because I'm not going to listen. I'm not even going to pretend that I care about you or your stupid murder that you committed. I'm not even going to listen to the sound of my own fingertips in my ears (Very hard to tune out. The secret: cotton balls.)<br /><br />OK, another reason that I was not able to blog for a while is that it took me FOREVER to get to the point where I could select a winner for the big contest. The big contest was a contest. The contestants had to try to figure out what the best way was that they could photoshop themselves into a handsome picture. Anyway, here is the winner.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-FhEvsyRmM9OJbKoz7j2E2Wa1kFZW1Zi_iDr-sWMA7TUnTmzL70XR_nfK58I-hLQxICo1hfpToQ7d_xjY52MnbwImQx21xIP2UwNclnJc4Cg2FGumftUGdknTlq0DlITCxO8esnE_ANc/s1600-h/sontycontestentryfinishwq9.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-FhEvsyRmM9OJbKoz7j2E2Wa1kFZW1Zi_iDr-sWMA7TUnTmzL70XR_nfK58I-hLQxICo1hfpToQ7d_xjY52MnbwImQx21xIP2UwNclnJc4Cg2FGumftUGdknTlq0DlITCxO8esnE_ANc/s400/sontycontestentryfinishwq9.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5176769886726622210" border="0" /></a><br />I like this picture primarily because it reminds me of what it is like to stand next to a beautiful woman, which is one of my favorite things to do. If you don't believe me, just consult my personal diary (OH WAIT YOU CAN'T)<br /><br />The winner's name is Margaret Kelly, and I guess she must be a sexy fox or something because that is what I see here. I will review a comic of her choosing next, but not right now because I'm just mad about one thing that I just have to review of course. I'd say that it was typical, but nothing that I ever do is typical. I make a point of always doing extraordinary things that nobody else would ever do.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dinosaur Comics.</span><br /><br />I am fuming about this, and it is important that you know what that means.<br /><br />You see, a fume is a stinky smell, and sometimes it is a dangerous smell. Chemicals would be a dangerous smell. Poison is also a dangerous smell, especially if it is a kind of poison that kills you through breathing it. Carbon monoxide would not be a dangerous smell, because carbon monoxide is odorless.<br /><br />If you need legal advice about carbon monoxide, you might like to <a href="http://www.carbonmonoxide.net/law/index.htm">try right here.</a><br /><br />If you get really angry, you will probably feel the need to do what I do: Exercise. It's a little known fact that when you're angry is the best time to exercise, because there are some brain chemicals or something that make muscles harder and burn fat. That's how I stay in shape, and believe me it works. Anyway, if you exercise a whole lot, then you get something that hasn't been documented in regular science, but as an amateur scientist, I've nicknamed it the "sweat effect."<br /><br />This is where you get all sweaty.<br /><br />And of course, when sweat evaporates, you get fumes. I wish I could tell you that wasn't the case, but it is so help me, and I cannot tell a lie.<br /><br />So anyways, that's the origin of the word fuming when they say that a person is fuming mad.<br /><br />What am I fuming at? The answer should be obvious. If you haven't got it yet, feel free to take a break and think about it. Maybe do some research. Email me for some good books that you could try researching in.<br /><br />The answer is <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/">Dinosaur Comics</a>. And if you can't see why, then you haven't seen the basic premise of Dinosaur Comics.<br /><br />The premise of Dinosaur Comics is that it's a comic to see how much crap a man can get away with just because he is tall.<br /><br />Does that seem fair?<br /><br />No.<br /><br />Of course it doesn't.<br /><br />Everyone should be equal no matter what height they are. It's in the constitution of the United States. Maybe Canadians like Ryan North (the author) could learn a little something from that.<br /><br />So I poked through the archive, and I think you'll notice the first thing that I noticed: The art, and the way that it is used. See, no matter how good he is at drawing those dinosaurs over and over, and no matter how good he is at getting all kinds of tiny details, <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000103.html">Ryan</a> <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000385.html">North</a> <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000539.html">can't</a> <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000794.html">draw</a> <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000883.html">a</a> <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000930.html">sad</a> <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/archive/001011.html">expression</a> <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/archive/001058.html">to</a> <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/archive/001058.html">save</a> <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/archive/001128.html">his</a> <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/archive/001183.html">life</a>. It's atrocious. It's inexcusable. It's enough to make a grown man take a good hard look in a mirror and then go purchase a BMW. (I almost did, BMWs are surprisingly affordable. But I couldn't because I removed all the mirrors from my home. Religious reasons.)<br /><br />So I guess what we're stuck with is a whole bunch of comics about HAPPY dinosaurs having nauseating happy discussions, and all night long we have to have happiness shoved down our throats. Wave goodbye to life's beautiful tragedies, because Qwantz wants to kill them. Maybe you can hide them, but these big grinning green guys will find them no matter what you do. It's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen, but guess what: I'm not sad about it at all, because I am no longer allowed to experience that emotion.<br /><br />The Happocolypse has occurred.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIy1ceIuWfAsQtS8UCr-Ey1OlXKoDFka5Z90za64t5IzA-qm1q7MEXiM9BREV_YDS8vCAwd7RKp7Fo25L9vE9nfCWSgXPsqSYMsIZR5IAHRKoauf9cXmsGc9VBQQzaWxrkNQKJ3wMoRPk/s1600-h/sad-face.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIy1ceIuWfAsQtS8UCr-Ey1OlXKoDFka5Z90za64t5IzA-qm1q7MEXiM9BREV_YDS8vCAwd7RKp7Fo25L9vE9nfCWSgXPsqSYMsIZR5IAHRKoauf9cXmsGc9VBQQzaWxrkNQKJ3wMoRPk/s400/sad-face.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5178819814487460882" border="0" /></a>What else is wrong with the Dinosaur comics? The answer may frighten you. Did you know that dinosaurs were actually flesh-eating monsters who were gigantic? Did you know that they regularly ate people with their giant teeth? Did you know that the head of a T-rex is ten feet long? Imagine that the T-rex is chasing you: You think that he can't see you if you don't move, but then it turns out that the raptors are on the same team as him, and guess what; They can see you from anywhere in the world. That's the kind of thing that Ryan North is toying with; Unimaginable power. But he treats it like his own pet thing that he found and he can't quite tell if it's a dog or a cat, because his glasses are foggy, and he never really studied up on dogs and cats.<br /><br />Simply disgusting. It's basic knowledge.<br /><br />Ryan North's writing is full of questions. That's the main problem with it. I mean, another reason of course is that he sounds like he bought a joke book at a garage sale, and it turned out that the previous owner was a genius who scribbled notes in the margins of every page, and when Ryan North read it, he couldn't tell the notes from the jokes, so he just said the whole thing.<br /><br />The thing that I like least of all, though, is that awful T-rex character. Has anything ever been so ungratifying as he is? No. No. He is the lamest thing since the other day when I hurt myself. Looking him in the eye is just the worst thing that anyone could ever do, and it makes me want to just punch him. I want to punch T-rex until he begs for me to stop punching him.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0zP6SevPoWJfM26zKXvI9-Ivlz9xXDH8V3HcBvc2AzZ64D8qTCxqz1Xa1VKRrrWsBPqjhTsCTuWCxBgXSd0CwftPQkrPNS4tYE6PVaZWc3jrtd6pt8dp0lREr622vJ4kaC6Ydg73-4uw/s1600-h/IPuchedAT-Reax.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0zP6SevPoWJfM26zKXvI9-Ivlz9xXDH8V3HcBvc2AzZ64D8qTCxqz1Xa1VKRrrWsBPqjhTsCTuWCxBgXSd0CwftPQkrPNS4tYE6PVaZWc3jrtd6pt8dp0lREr622vJ4kaC6Ydg73-4uw/s400/IPuchedAT-Reax.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5178829997854919714" border="0" /></a>There is so much more to be said about how bad this comic is, and why it sucks so hard that it could never stop, but I am just one man, even if the man that I happen to be is exceptional. You won't hear me teaching you the lyrics to any anthems of hate for Dinosaur Comics today, because I can't do it all. But I encourage you all to write your own. Somebody needs to bring down this abomination once and for all, and it's not going to be the president, because there is an election coming up so he is a lame duck.<br /><br />(((---+++Sonty Mick+++---)))Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-67303327071566110112008-01-23T15:08:00.000-08:002008-01-23T15:23:03.043-08:00Fanart and awards + THE BIG CONTEST!OK guys, I've been stockpiling fanart like it was a resource that Earth is running out of, and it was really time for me to just dump it all in a lake, you know? That's not good for the environment, but circumstances have driven me to desire what I should not; pollution.<br /><br />Change is a good thing, so for a change, how about if I start with the awards? (too radical?)<br /><br />Here is the first one. It is called a duffy. I got it from a mysterious person who did not give his/her name but who just dropped it on me and hoped that I would welcome it. Well I guess I did, meaning that this is a time when we can all put our hands together and watch me walk up the stairs of acceptance (the stairs are all labeled with different stages of acceptance. Surprise, pride, desire for greater success etc.)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP4v6pawpXU3zgvKuwB4gyOTAoHWyln9QH2j4N1D21zw1D2tn9j5fYD9FbBkrPOy9nkpNItoTVaKbZks9nZdUGllFJfcl31Py25U65NCRm3RnpOkEVjo_mJI5sKu6hMwHMUeYU1ieykCU/s1600-h/aWARD.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP4v6pawpXU3zgvKuwB4gyOTAoHWyln9QH2j4N1D21zw1D2tn9j5fYD9FbBkrPOy9nkpNItoTVaKbZks9nZdUGllFJfcl31Py25U65NCRm3RnpOkEVjo_mJI5sKu6hMwHMUeYU1ieykCU/s400/aWARD.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5158814274773811106" border="0" /></a>I did some research about this reward, and I guess it is usually something else, but this one is an exception.<br /><br />OK, the next one is from an organization that gives out awards. I guess all you have to do is deserve an award and they'll get you one right away.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJDGUDf8CKl8VDouFL7dqdh7vZXiZiLj4wWkb0n2NgFr54LKPJb4Mw3UrzcEPnzJjlIa8oVOwoO4I-8rx96JZhRdLXSsCRhyvFzVeuoooJBxvVLTWh8_56cJ8pD-_e8KLuiiyAjC4XsV8/s1600-h/sontymickaplusplusplusanp8.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJDGUDf8CKl8VDouFL7dqdh7vZXiZiLj4wWkb0n2NgFr54LKPJb4Mw3UrzcEPnzJjlIa8oVOwoO4I-8rx96JZhRdLXSsCRhyvFzVeuoooJBxvVLTWh8_56cJ8pD-_e8KLuiiyAjC4XsV8/s400/sontymickaplusplusplusanp8.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5158814283363745746" border="0" /></a>Next up I have something from a guy online who only gave me his internet name. I will not tell you it because I think it might be from a movie script, and so it might be copyrighted. This guy saw a picture online and he thought "Hey, I could make a really good likeness of you-know-who with this...hmm...maybe I should..."<br /><br />And this is what he came up with!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8F_Skc_NRAHET7LsZ003hSSuoulSrL3ewlj0CD0-Qvz9VRVbrUvBXsKqhP8oGkmRlO1UlF0UXAXbXSQjzb8misEK7Ltdi7qCiQphSnEmc6u6UENgnd4zDiYYm_1gt_u2opibeMFWWORA/s1600-h/sontydickym2.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8F_Skc_NRAHET7LsZ003hSSuoulSrL3ewlj0CD0-Qvz9VRVbrUvBXsKqhP8oGkmRlO1UlF0UXAXbXSQjzb8misEK7Ltdi7qCiQphSnEmc6u6UENgnd4zDiYYm_1gt_u2opibeMFWWORA/s400/sontydickym2.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5158814279068778434" border="0" /></a>OK, the next one isn't really a fanart piece, because actually what I did was I went in and sat for the renowned artist Andrew Stewart. I don't know if it really counts if it's by an actual artist you know? Well anyway this is it, and I'm satisfied with it. It came out as good as I was hoping it would.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMSIjwq2W1SpN_qnjxBhRIBGzV4yEZFE0wMiuF1lyKuqiG0aby9OoNLRkCUAnTxcYM2amGb7uvOlkzVDrX4omjOEKUs45OGAGGE6QKB2yl_5os05FD6y_HRJMGulueccF62wZJaUfdVxI/s1600-h/sontymickea5.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMSIjwq2W1SpN_qnjxBhRIBGzV4yEZFE0wMiuF1lyKuqiG0aby9OoNLRkCUAnTxcYM2amGb7uvOlkzVDrX4omjOEKUs45OGAGGE6QKB2yl_5os05FD6y_HRJMGulueccF62wZJaUfdVxI/s400/sontymickea5.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5158814287658713058" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">THE BIG CONTEST</span><br /></span><br />OK, so this last one was sent in by a fan who wanted me to have a big contest! It has a space for you to add in your own face! Look at how great it is! You can be pictured next to me: A great and famous blogger!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkjfRTPs0EXJKuxV-5fsknJ75rE-w4arZrGLAwPtkqGBcfw8clrjaVe6uxc1ByWjOAAEyRY8byfkh2B-1RKBNoQGQSWNvm3xjmOfzKf_tqTUi_Keaw_AxBN9ZioC87-aZQ3IHq1cCXZ7Q/s1600-h/sontycontestwx1.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkjfRTPs0EXJKuxV-5fsknJ75rE-w4arZrGLAwPtkqGBcfw8clrjaVe6uxc1ByWjOAAEyRY8byfkh2B-1RKBNoQGQSWNvm3xjmOfzKf_tqTUi_Keaw_AxBN9ZioC87-aZQ3IHq1cCXZ7Q/s400/sontycontestwx1.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5158814279068778418" border="0" /></a><br />Add in your face and send it to me! LADIES ONLY! Unless if you're a guy you can change the face to make it more feminine. As long as you look like a sexy vixen I will accept anything.<br /><br />Who ever wins will get the great honor of an original drawing by me, and will be able to choose the subject of my next review!<br /><br />Thanks all!<br /><br />(((~~~^^^SONTY MICK^^^~~~)))Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-35262691777435329662008-01-04T00:16:00.002-08:002008-01-04T21:55:09.924-08:00Pictures for Sad ChildrenThere are some things that take a true man. Not true in the sense of like he's a man, and that's true. A true man as in: A man who is devoted to truth. A man who seeks after true things. A man who never lies about webcomics, because pulling punches is for true women. No that is sexist. True children perhaps. Pulling punches is for true children.<br /><br />What does a true child look like? If I had to guess I'd say this:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyHDpXbYxfghoPrEqM3aML5bgRIqomW2n1QX4KHaabwTvDCq-q2q6MFfhhbMhdT-pQYko4oE5EUDUAReJUCZHMTLlEVtP38BOJ5bA_ifAVq60XT1LyjUvg47aZqVl4D4loGS3Ycs-0j_c/s1600-h/sickchld.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyHDpXbYxfghoPrEqM3aML5bgRIqomW2n1QX4KHaabwTvDCq-q2q6MFfhhbMhdT-pQYko4oE5EUDUAReJUCZHMTLlEVtP38BOJ5bA_ifAVq60XT1LyjUvg47aZqVl4D4loGS3Ycs-0j_c/s400/sickchld.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5151866143318725634" border="0" /></a><br /><br />This is the truth about children. This is what it means to be young and pull punches. If I was a small child, I would not look like this, because I would not wear such a crappy pink robe that looks like it's from a pawn shop, and I would not hold that bear. I would do an experiment with it by letting it go and seeing what happened. <span style="font-style: italic;">It's just clipart, so how do we know the regular laws of physics would apply???</span><br /><br />The laws of physics are here for us, but only if we are real objects in real space. I'm sure you've all seen movies or flash advertisements if you spend most of your time on the computer. You'll notice that those worlds are not the same thing. That's what truth is about. Truth is what's real that you can actually experience. Untruth is CRAP. That's what the kind of children that we probably want are the kind that are true?<br /><br />So what if the children weren't true?<br /><br />What if instead they were <span style="font-style: italic;">sad</span>?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1L0tdFKlfJDib-B3xiFqI2G9S4fFhUcGcGkXX7i6ScwPrxgVfFPnTAg_iEM9Ws939HutEFpqitukofkQMEmnD7a6fPiYDh9TarAN60UGqi8KT-E8OxBc5QefNFP5M9fi9RcS38vGS2zs/s1600-h/thischildissadbutwhyisthequestion.GIF"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1L0tdFKlfJDib-B3xiFqI2G9S4fFhUcGcGkXX7i6ScwPrxgVfFPnTAg_iEM9Ws939HutEFpqitukofkQMEmnD7a6fPiYDh9TarAN60UGqi8KT-E8OxBc5QefNFP5M9fi9RcS38vGS2zs/s400/thischildissadbutwhyisthequestion.GIF" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5151866147613692962" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span>Seems pretty improbable when I phrase it like that, doesn't it? Yeah, that's probably because I was using semantics. Pretty good, I know.<br /><br />But yes. If there were sad children then I guess what they would need would be some pictures, huh? Maybe some big pictures? Maybe some small pictures? Maybe even some of the pictures could be upside down because that would be kind of unusual and maybe it would get the kid to laugh.<br /><br />But no. When children get sad, the only pictures that they are allotted are <a href="http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php">these</a>. How...<span style="font-style: italic;">sad</span>.<br /><br />Pictures for Sad Children. It's a comic on the web, and boy does it pack away the laughs in a safe that not even a really good criminal could get them out of even if he had a bunch of equipment and explosives and a glass that he could hold up to the safe and put his ear on the other side and listen to the old clicks as the pins or whatever did whatever they do in order to open.<br /><br />I think that the author has some jokes, but he's ACTUALLY trying to keep them from us. He's taunting us by showing us that there are jokes and then not telling us them. <a href="http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=82">Here's an example.</a><br /><br />It's the kind of thing that would make the children...MAD.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinDBjdQuqFCschUnPbAprPymiD6TqAjeN7LrinZdjijx0GiNTrdk99zeaE3BpMDUovgZdWaFiH66BNn-rtHGoyAV9mWNQpamUrRJZaiG08P4oR0ZoyFqyhecL98Nj6dQFcXZRGZ45ocgY/s1600-h/weallknowwhythischildismad.GIF"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinDBjdQuqFCschUnPbAprPymiD6TqAjeN7LrinZdjijx0GiNTrdk99zeaE3BpMDUovgZdWaFiH66BNn-rtHGoyAV9mWNQpamUrRJZaiG08P4oR0ZoyFqyhecL98Nj6dQFcXZRGZ45ocgY/s400/weallknowwhythischildismad.GIF" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5151866151908660274" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Oh no!<br /><br />OK, here's a list of just a few things about the comic that make the children mad.<br /><br /><ul><li>It's impractical. Does <a href="http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=13">this</a> look like the best way to make a comic? I don't think so.</li><li>It seems like the guy who wrote it is the sort of guy who grows his hair out, and then he waits and waits for everyone to get used to it, and he even gets it on his drivers license, but then when we all accept him as a long haired man, that's when he cuts it. It makes EVERYONE uncomfortable. I mean, just look at <a href="http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=41">this installment</a>.</li><li>No good social networking features on the website. Why can't these sites serve more than one purpose?</li><li>No references. <a href="http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=26">This comic</a> would have been the perfect place to drop a line from Free Willy, but does the author take the opportunity? No! He wants to live in a cultural vacuum! Wow, good idea Mr. I hope you like living with dust.</li></ul>What is true boredom?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=30">True boredom is when you're on an airplane and you don't hear anything over the intercom for so long that you start to feel lonely</a>.<br /><a href="http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=66"><br />True boredom is when you are on a tiny planet and you are the only alien who lives there, and the only thing you can do for fun is play an alien game where you have to dare yourself to shut your eyes for certain amounts of time</a>.<br /><a href="http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=81"><br />True boredom is when you have your own ocean, but boats haven't been invented yet, and you can't figure out how to make one, and you're all out of resources</a>.<br /><a href="http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=62"><br />True boredom is when you work at a job where you help scientists do experiments to figure out how long a man can think about his own legs in one go</a>.<br /><br />True boredom leads to bored children.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0WYUMvfquxgty0e98eCGoEXcO71jg7s7nM8KhDgg-E0nmE8eC4R1C6_Rq_d1JXOwZrSr28xpbVNvuK_urdeYoUAVpjTc3WegDnWRTV6BZLp8f9jzP3uANtFxQhQ9iZDWOadtLAjSi2IE/s1600-h/thischildisboredbypfsc.GIF"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0WYUMvfquxgty0e98eCGoEXcO71jg7s7nM8KhDgg-E0nmE8eC4R1C6_Rq_d1JXOwZrSr28xpbVNvuK_urdeYoUAVpjTc3WegDnWRTV6BZLp8f9jzP3uANtFxQhQ9iZDWOadtLAjSi2IE/s400/thischildisboredbypfsc.GIF" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5151866147613692946" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Pictures for Sad Children is pure true boredom. It's probably one of the main reasons that not as many people read the newspaper these days. I'll have to check sometime. If anybody knows the phone number for one of the most important newspapers, leave it here, and I'll try reviewing it as soon as I get the chance (keep in mind, I keep busy.)<br /><br />So why don't I like this comic? Lots of reasons. Some of them are private, but there are some public ones. For instance, if I were reading it in public I would feel very strange.<br /><br />I would feel like I was a cancer researcher who accidentally discovered the ultimate way to cause cancer, and it was the only thing I discovered all year, and my mom was trying to ask me what I had discovered that year, and it was really awkward because my only discovery was one that could kill people.<br /><br />I also dislike the comic's use of perspective. Why do things always have to be in the distance?<br /><br />(If it's small in the picture that means it's far away. <a href="http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=6">See here</a>)<br /><br />I also dislike everything else about the comic. Sonty fans take note: Don't enjoy this comic or you will be disagreeing with your hero!<br /><br />So put yourself in the position of a child. If you saw this comic then how the heck would YOU feel? This is audience participation! Put your answer as a comment!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6uYRMbuT0T7mOjEyB-vts1w0ZMUlq_-_IMHq_LxG9mcYPnRZGCdTAwNDavYmg81DziPxTRuEDaWyX9lx84nZZFIPygKCS11kRXUjVufYrrn0ecXYYTbnF9R7XKsK9kSad_BoxpCxvYZI/s1600-h/whatwillyoudo.GIF"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6uYRMbuT0T7mOjEyB-vts1w0ZMUlq_-_IMHq_LxG9mcYPnRZGCdTAwNDavYmg81DziPxTRuEDaWyX9lx84nZZFIPygKCS11kRXUjVufYrrn0ecXYYTbnF9R7XKsK9kSad_BoxpCxvYZI/s400/whatwillyoudo.GIF" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5151866151908660290" border="0" /></a><br /><br />[}{{(((--~~--Sonty Mick<sontymick>--~~--)))}}{]<br /></sontymick>Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-67403047385736441442007-12-16T16:20:00.000-08:002007-12-18T00:18:29.241-08:00White Ninja ComicsOK so there is going to be something a little different today. I know this might come as a large surprise to a good many of you, but I, Sonty Mick, am taking a night class from community college. Maybe you thought I was too old for college. Nope. You are never too old to get a little more of the good stuff (education). I am hoping that I will become an even better writer from this, and win even more awards.<br /><br />Anyway, I am taking a class about writing good papers. It is also about editing them and researching them. I have sort of a brief research paper due, and so this next post will actually be my paper! I just submitted it for grading, and I will definitely let you know how it goes. It was hard because I was not allowed to write in first person.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Argumentative Paper<br />(((==~||~~{Sonty Mick}~~||~==)))<br />Advanced Composition<br />12-17-2007<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">White Ninja Comics is So Bad</span><br /></div><br />Every day days get just a tiny bit longer. You don't notice it, because I think that time gets slower or something too so it's the same from your perspective, but nothing can go fast forever. Famous people have said quotes about that kind of thing, but I couldn't find it online, and I seriously spent 45 minutes in the library and it was a total waste of time.<br /><br />There has been a pretty good amount of discussion, a decent amount anyway, on what it is that makes a work of fiction a good one or a bad one. Sometimes that work of fiction can even be a comic that may be good or bad (Versaci 34), such as Blondie or Powerup Comics. It may be hard to believe, but the comic could even perhaps be considered a webcomic if it on the world wide web (internet).<br /><br />It is one of these online webcomics that we must turn our heads to in focus with the lasers that make up the point of our eyes. Only in looking beyond ourselves can we find the rich resources that comics will provide for us on the web. It is on this web, which is like a sea of information, only withoout the sea and with more information, that we will find the topic that requires discussion here: White Ninja Comics.<br /><br />In this paper, it will be proven through a good argument that by objective standards, White Ninja Comics is to be considered a bad webcomic. It is a bad webcomic for three reasons: The first reason is that the comic is written in a style that does not have literary depth, the second reason is that the comic looks like it came out of a butt, and the the third reason is that the characters in the comic are too hard to tell apart from each other, and most of them are ugly. There are other reasons, but hey, who even cares? I am not getting payed by the word here (that's an old writing joke. I don't need to cite it because I think it's a part of our cultural consciousness.)<br /><br />First of all, I think that someone had better shed some light on the matter of web comics and and the web in general. The internet is sometimes a difficult concept to understand. What is it? Where did it come from? Well if you are confused about the internet, then maybe you need to understand the extent to which the internet is used. Here is a graphical representation from Wikipedia about how many people around the world use the internet:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV4kPvtJn6GOcfqOuUjLaC2VnwJJutGmmSMVm2iMP3-prkkQHBeu7CvshShuwT2HcbeUa4Wxq55fp2niCSIFfOyqvsTtTEZ5dMeZVbLGugv3Tr_Yv94YAxvZGcHQsvWTxWabuCb73wy6Y/s1600-h/GM_-_Countries_by_Internet_Users(2).png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV4kPvtJn6GOcfqOuUjLaC2VnwJJutGmmSMVm2iMP3-prkkQHBeu7CvshShuwT2HcbeUa4Wxq55fp2niCSIFfOyqvsTtTEZ5dMeZVbLGugv3Tr_Yv94YAxvZGcHQsvWTxWabuCb73wy6Y/s400/GM_-_Countries_by_Internet_Users(2).png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5144737902061671282" border="0" /></a><br /><br />As you can see, the internet is a network that reaches all over the world, and people from differrent cultures are able to use it for whatever they want, including comics. Webcomics are just comics that are on this network, and include a lot of different big names in comics. There are even certain blogs that are all about webcomics and whether or not they are good. (Mick)<br /><br />OK, the first reason that the comic is so bad is that there is no literary depth in the style. There is a lot of information available about metaphor in writing, and it's easy to get bogged down by it, but here are the basics of metaphor: Metaphor is something that is often used in literature and if it is done well then it can be very good. (Polvinen 55)<br /><br />What kinds of metaphor can we find in White Ninja Comics? In the installment entitled "<a href="http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/comics/deadman.shtml">White Ninja Eats a Dead Man</a>" we see one end of the scale. Here the ninja character is just being himself and just giving you a taste of what makes his world the different version of our world that it is. Do you notice anything about the literary depth here though? I think you will need to look hard, but if you do you will see that there is not a lot. When the officer shows up we are not even treated to an interesting piece of dialog. It is just White Ninja speaking without developing his character.<br /><br />What does it mean to be human? White Ninja Comics could have answered that question in the episode entitled "<a href="http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/comics/robotwife.shtml">White Ninja's Robot Wife</a>", but that did not end up happening. While the comic strip makes an attempt at answering the question by blurring the lines between woman and machine, White Ninja is more interested in eating chicken than he is in giving us a glimpse into the transcendant. It does not answer, or even seriously consider the question of what it means to be human, and this is a major downfall from many perspectives. (Hand 11)<br /><br />In the episode called "<a href="http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/comics/raised.shtml">White Ninja's Pig</a>" we get what should be an opportunity to examine the relationship between mankind and the animal kingdom. It is important for a comic to make a good point and this comic does not do that. (Polvinen 113) In this particular strip we get what seems like an ordinary exchange between these guys, but they are really having an exchange that has a lot of tension even though it doesn't seem to be sexual tension. Maybe the tension here is trying to be a metaphor for sex. It doesn't work.<br /><br />And so as you can clearly see, White Ninja Comics has no literary value at all. Might as well just read nothing.<br /><br />The second point about White Ninja Comics that needs to be understood is that the comic looks literally like it was drawn with a butt rather than with a hand. This is because the art is so ugly, and because butts are not very good for writing. There are no scholarly sources about how good butts are for writing. It is a field that most scientists are uncomfortable to do experiments about.<br /><br />In the White Ninja Comic entitled "<a href="http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/comics/hottie.shtml">White Ninja In: Hottie Alert</a>", White Ninja seems to think that a certain woman is hot. Well he must have strange taste in women or something, because the women that we see all drawn up here is not an attractive one. She has saggy boobs. Research online will show you that even if White Ninja comes from Japan (the land of ninjas) then even in his culture, saggy boobs are not considered attractive. It looks like this is a clear instance of the art not living up to what one would expect. (Physical Attractiveness)<br /><br />In the installment called "<a href="http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/comics/drink.shtml">White Ninja Doesn't Like to Drink</a>", we see the eponymous ninja is having a cup of flour, which appears to be nice. What is happening in that fourth panel though? White ninja has closed his eyes, and even though this could be considered a symbol of blocking out the outside world, he is actually saying something that he wants to communicate with the outside world. So this piece of artwork is actually misleading, and it actually hurts the argument that some people might make that White Ninja has OK art. (Meskin Par. 4)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaQK3H__ZnRuFFLH3QsA7CxjiPVcpxhGEwrNW6UpgbCdFynmyWRFVBuhEuGxmdYoGXofIfOf1Oy4C5llC02JcEvhSfWfCoO9DdO8BpYvK7PiqlyDqLtzsMyfIcyjwB0397iK1y2XMnVZI/s1600-h/Why+WhiteNinjaSucks.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaQK3H__ZnRuFFLH3QsA7CxjiPVcpxhGEwrNW6UpgbCdFynmyWRFVBuhEuGxmdYoGXofIfOf1Oy4C5llC02JcEvhSfWfCoO9DdO8BpYvK7PiqlyDqLtzsMyfIcyjwB0397iK1y2XMnVZI/s400/Why+WhiteNinjaSucks.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5145220802414629762" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Also if you read the rest of the comics you will notice that they are also really really ugly.<br /><br />So, as outlined here, we are made aware that the artwork in this comic is really bad, and it should not be looked at by anybody. Especially real people like you. Who knows what could happen? Maybe you'd even have to go to a funeral.<br /><br />OK so the third point that absolutely needs to be made here is that the characters in this comic are too hard to tell apart from each other, and it's impossible to tell which one is which. The most obvious example that I could possibly think of is that there are probably several characters who are white ninjas but they are clearly not the same guy. Like look at the comic entitled "<a href="http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/comics/married.shtml">White Ninja Longs to Be Married</a>" and you will see that White Ninja wants some chick to propose for him then it is unclear if he proposes to a guy or if he is just joking. But then in "<a href="http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/comics/givesbirth.shtml">White Ninja's Wife Gives Birth</a>", he is completely married to a woman who is giving birth.<br /><br />These two White Ninjas look the same.<br /><br />There are a bunch of other examples but they are completely boring and if you actually care about any of this crap then you can just go ahead and research it all by yourself because I have seriously done <span style="font-style: italic;">enough</span> research. Seriously, Go see some things for yourself, Don't be caged in by a society that tells you that you need a lid for a sprite when you go to a Mc D's.<br /><br />In conclusion, White Ninja Comics is very bad, and the three reasons that it is so bad is because the writing has no literary depth, because the art is as horrible as crap, and because the characters all look exactly like clones of each other, and I don't mean actual science clones because they don't always look just like the original (Skipper par. 6). I mean sci-fi style clones.<br /><br />Thank you for reading my paper.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Works Cited</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Bevan, S, and Earle, K. <span style="font-style: italic;">White Ninja Comics. </span>2002-present. www.whiteninjacomics.com<br /><br />Mick, Sonty and Satiricus, Gaius. <span style="font-style: italic;">These Web Comics are So Bad</span>. webcomicssobad.blogspot.com/ (Award winning credible source)<br /><br /><em><strong class="medium-font"></strong></em><span class="medium-font">Polvinen, </span><span class="medium-font">Merja</span><span class="medium-font">.</span><span class="medium-font"> "The Ends of Metaphor". </span><a class="record-index" name="1"></a><span class="add-to-folder"><a class="item-not-in-folder" name="addToFolder" id="add_1" href="javascript:ToggleFolderItem('1');" title="Add to folder"></a></span><span class="medium-font"></span><span style="font-style: italic;" class="medium-font"> European Journal of English Studies</span><span class="medium-font">, Dec 2007, Vol. 11 Issue 3, p273-284<br /><br />Versaci, Rocco. </span><span style="font-style: italic;" class="sans">This Book Contains Graphic Language: Comics As Literature. </span>Continuum International Publishing Group. London. <span class="sans">2007<br /><br />Hand, Elizabeth. "Writing Literary Science Fiction". <span style="font-style: italic;">Writer</span>. </span>Jan95, Vol. 108 Issue 1, p11, 4p<br /><br />Meskin, Aaron. "Defining Comics?". <span style="font-style: italic;">Journal of Aesthetics and Art Criticism</span>. Oct2007, Vol. 65 Issue 4, p369-379, 11p<br /><br />Skipper, Magdelina. "In the News: More than Nine Lives". <span style="font-style: italic;">Nature Reviews genetics</span>. Apr2002, Vol. 3 Issue 4, p234-234, 1p<br /><br />"Physical Attractiveness". (15 December 2007). In <i>Wikipedia, The free encyclopedia</i>. Retrieved December 15, 2007, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_Attractiveness<br /><br />"The Internet". (15 December 2007). In <i>Wikipedia, The free encyclopedia</i>. Retrieved December 15, 2007, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Internet<br /><span style="font-style: italic;" class="sans"></span></div></div>Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com50tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-58326291182187045082007-12-04T14:07:00.000-08:002007-12-04T21:16:30.434-08:00Gunnerkrigg CourtI don't know how I do it.<br /><br />I surprise myself sometimes.<br /><br />I've come up with a new review concept today, and I'm hoping that I can kick it off in this post and give you all just a little touch of astonishment as I transcend utilitarian blogging, and actually make it more of an art form. I am going to do this by just writing just a little bit of poetry. Read this poem that I wrote, and then maybe check and see if you can tell what comic I am reviewing today:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">She is independent, and she looks</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">To another place not her own</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">She is to nature as a man to his loyal dog</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Who squats by his side and is uneasy.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Who can give me a taste of this?</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Not you.<br />You can only give me a breath</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">And that's the breath that dies out</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">When I see that you are a waste</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">And I give you nothing.</span><br /><br />OK, do you have anything that resembles an idea what I'm talking about? Think hard. There are clues in there.<br /><br />I'm talking about <a href="http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/index2.php">Gunnerkrigg Court</a>.<br /><br />Gunnerkrigg Court is a comic that has court in the name, but it's not the kind of court that you would think. Well, I think it's time that somebody took Gunnerkrigg Court to court to have a trial and see if it's a bad comic. Maybe it will even be sentenced to prison.<br /><br />OK, now let's open up this case. (raps with gavel on circle of wood). Now I know that there are people out there who will tell you things like that Gunnerkrigg is something that mankind should not be ashamed of. Perhaps you've even seen them on an internet forum, or in a booth together at your local pizza restaurant. They might have even looked at you, and you might have even wondered if you knew them. This is normal. A lot of people don't know how to react to certain social situations. That's what they base shows like Candid Camera off of.<br /><br />Exhibit A: Gunnerkrigg Court is made by Tom Siddell. It's always unnerving to find out the name of the parent behind the name that you already know. For instance: You all know Taco Bell and Pizza Hut, and some of you may even have heard of KFC, but did you know that they are owned by a parent company called "Yum"? It's not what you'd expect, is it? It's kind of a dry feeling in your mouth, isn't it? It kind of makes fast food taste like sand.<br /><br />Where to start...where to start...<br /><br /><a href="http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=1">Let's try the beginning</a>. As you can see, this is typical comic fare. A girl and some black shadows. I guess we won't be calling the newspapers and asking them to change the headlines to something about Gunnerkrigg Court, huh? Looks like we'll be leaving this one for the ravens.<br /><br />Exhibit B: The main character is a girl who is all at once <a href="http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=46">ordinary</a>, <a href="http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=74">tenacious</a>, <a href="http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=19">fearful</a>, <a href="http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=215">understated</a> and <a href="http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=321">on-edge</a>. Wow, nice move, Tom (not). That really works. It looks like he just took a character that would fit into an office comic like Dilbert and then made her younger and put her in a different setting where she didn't have the proper dynamic. Is this the kind of character who you want to see on a mousepad, but not saying something about coffee? I sure don't, and you probably don't either. This is some really good evidence in the case against Gunnerkrigg Court. I have a feeling the defense attorney won't be objecting to that statement!<br /><br />Exhibit C: The art in this comic is OK, but it never gives me the kinds of feelings that I get when I'm driving alone and I hum to myself softly because I can't be absolutely certain if there's nobody in the back seat, so I don't want to go all out and sing, because what if there is someone, and I just forgot? In the face of this strong evidence, I think that we may need to consider that Gunnerkrigg Court may be very guilty.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br />Now let's cross examine the witness: Her best friend is another girl and she has dark hair. Why is it that sidekicks like her always have dark hair? I have seen it in at least two other comics, but I don't have time to list them here. Do your own research for once, it won't kill you. It might even give you a good reason to stop off at the library. While you're there, even if you don't like books, they will probably have some movies.<br /><br />Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, there is also a living shadow that is alive. That's basically like saying that a child's thimble can be alive, come on, people! Plus there is a robot, which is something that you wouldn't expect in a comic like this, <a href="http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=212">but it has to be there</a>. Whatever. I can't argue with that, because you can't argue with that kind of incompetence. You can only argue against it. ;)<span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /><br />Not that it's uncool to be bald, but robots are pretty much always bald.<br /><br />Who could ever live in a world like the one in this comic? If <a href="http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=77">this</a> happened in real life, we could all die.<br /><br />Do <span style="font-style: italic;">you</span> want to die?<br /><br />Then don't read Gunnerkrigg Court!<br /><br />I rest my case!<br /><br />OK, now it's time for the verdict...Drumroll everyone!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT3H06njDIdkafZR3HQ90UwS1VSO1rVnY5-t6RetSZ5kKDsfv7ka1iqWQ4k7Ev6LAAGuYbMw1BMJgZULspKQ5T5lbXJeohqDFj4dCUX0oLClHtuIQXNhy_gCXWw_8jmH3xgIKp4xFH86k/s1600-h/MyDreamCourtroom.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT3H06njDIdkafZR3HQ90UwS1VSO1rVnY5-t6RetSZ5kKDsfv7ka1iqWQ4k7Ev6LAAGuYbMw1BMJgZULspKQ5T5lbXJeohqDFj4dCUX0oLClHtuIQXNhy_gCXWw_8jmH3xgIKp4xFH86k/s400/MyDreamCourtroom.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5140352975014272450" border="0" /></a>Looks like we won't be hearing from Gunnerkrigg Court anytime soon...<br /><br />And it looks like my job here is done.<br /><br />Until next time, don't do anything illegal, because the eagle eye of Sonty Mick is always watching!<br /><br />((^^~~~Sonty Mick~~~^^))Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com96tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-2514496257568971062007-12-01T20:48:00.000-08:002007-12-02T21:42:14.936-08:00Fanart and lettersHello all of my many readers, and welcome back to more of Sonty Mick and his amazing blog. I hope that you are all ready on a personal level to just kick back. Seriously, for me, just take off your shoes and give it a rest. No full review yet today, just a quick little post with a few things I've received lately.<br /><br />First off, I got this mysterious email from a guy. He didn't tell me his name or anything, but I guess that he wanted to be anonymous. He is apparently some sort of man in comics, so I will just present for you this letter that I received:<br /><br /><p style="font-style: italic;"><span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" >Dear Sonty,</span><br /></p> <p style="font-style: italic;"><span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" > I stumbled upon your website while looking for old videos of Yakov Smirnoff on the internet, and the moment I laid eyes on it I was transfixed by its brilliance. I don't want to brag, but I am the creator of a popular syndicated cartoon strip. I want to be discreet, so I won't reveal the name, but let's just say that it's about an overweight cat who hates "the mondays." </span><br /></p> <p style="font-style: italic;"> <span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" >I'll be honest with you, Sonty: I wish I was as smart as you. Some days I feel like it's all I can do to get by. I mean, can you imagine waking up every day with the burden of coming up with a new idea for a hilarious comic? Now I'm just being silly. Of course you can. You could probably write a better comic in the nude. I don't know why I just typed that. Oh well it's too late to take it back now. Me, I don't know if I could do it without my staff of 57 artists, writers, and licensing business executives. </span><br /></p> <p style="font-style: italic;"> <span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" >Oh Sonty, do you ever just feel that you're dead inside? I think for me it happened after my 35th book. I was at a dinner party and instead of asking someone to pass me the coffee I said, "Just hand over the coffee and no one gets hurt." And they all just sort of chuckled nervously and looked around at each other. I realized that I used that line every single time I had ever wanted coffee in my entire life. It was then that I began to wonder if maybe I was born without a soul. </span><br /></p> <p style="font-style: italic;"> <span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" >I felt so bad that I excused myself and went home, and I had to run my hands through the little bowl of diamonds that I keep on my desk for at least a minute before the feeling passed.</span><br /></p> <p style="font-style: italic;"> <span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" >But enough about me. Sonty, please don't let the pack of gibbering hyenas who comment on your posts get you down. They're just jealous because they are mostly a bunch of bitter lesbians. But I don't need to tell you that. You are like a golden god, come to judge the layers of stinking crap dumped onto the internet every day by the diseased brains of the communists and the pedophiles and the two-bit hacks that inhabit this internet. I say in all honesty I think you would look amazing dressed up and posed like Michaelangelo's David. I only hope I am not judged and found wanting. Sonty, remember me when you come into your kingdom. </span><br /></p> <p style="font-style: italic;"><span style=";font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" >Sincerely, </span><br /></p> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:Helvetica;font-size:100%;" >Your Biggest Fan</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span>Now I don't really know where this guy is coming from (I can think of fifteen comics that would seriously fit the description that he gave), but this guy is at least recognizing the need for reform in web comics. I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt.<br /><br />OK, I also got a new fanart and a new award. Things have been kind of slow I guess. Everybody must think that there fanart is not good enough or something. This is from Lillian Bucket, and so is the award.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd8W_mBRtRnZ-ahhKai71OsGHpD1s-Ym8o06bv6w5COfBZXkcGnFjFXEN57L3ndK4rM19UIV4k_8ug5NshIq3Y3GrzGlh2YTLq_J-4Usvm2K4J0hNrIqk6udHzG7mDdC1cjUsywXJA1J8/s1600-r/sonty.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid0ZD3IWCrYtKqeisb_FqagWlIRkr6S3w4-ydHVcsFz-XmYN-ZgVwnNefZaxLdTsrvSb9D1U4zJOt8HFHZzdgf_waJZLMf2XeKhwaT_wm1Zij1zSv1owPUsdaV_UYNta5AgnoPkLlpb5w/s400/sonty.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5139615786827586978" border="0" /></a>This is a pretty good picture. Don't know why I'm blue... Maybe it's a metaphor for the blues, because I listen to the music of different races and bring cultures together...<br /><br />Now here is the award:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYphyphenhyphenr2V84sMyvVXIcaztqqDUI_cIFOcw_dF0DYrnmatUMRepHFkhyoqXFNqHPC8OOISJ9mMKMz_PuU5N4R3VC4o0vXEGPsJdzdUtyUktuGmGysThT80D4jY4t1PdEicaKNvbTfPOV2VI/s1600-r/crappit.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjABjFPOAqZ4I7J0EgK9CWECUEDudnHfeNQMgVtLVQMWy7SUtY_laPtZimNJSbD-vfyfrpuEjYUXvOxpouiK-xSrODA5BT-Saa7r3yAt9gN0cc75wMZ-JxJhhLbQqrVZOxbujR5KbnYbUE/s400/crappit.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5139615795417521586" border="0" /></a>Oh wait, it looks like I have another fanart up my sleeve! I guess you never know what I personally am about to do next! This one is from somebody whose name is Chris.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://kundor.org/pub/sontyrulz.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px;" src="http://kundor.org/pub/sontyrulz.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />That's all that I have for you tonight. Don't worry, though. It will not be too long until you can get another fix of The Mick.<br /><br />(((~~~@-@-Sonty Mick-@-@~~~)))<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span>Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-77741856282707967772007-11-25T13:32:00.000-08:002007-11-25T14:54:49.190-08:00Terror IslandWhat did we do?<br /><br />What did we do to deserve this?<br /><br />When I ask what it is that we did to deserve this, I am, of course, obviously talking about <a href="http://www.terrorisland.net/">Terror Island</a> in the context of what we did to deserve this.<br /><br />What did we do to deserve this?<br /><br />The sentence is a question. The subject is us, the action is do, and the direct object is this. I admit, it took me a while to figure that out, because deserve is also a verb. These things will slip up your average webcomic reviewer, and make him say things that are not true. But I am a modern-day oracle. You can trust what I have to say, because after all, I did research it.<br /><br />Back to Terror Island though.<br /><br />What did we do to deserve it?<br /><br />Terror Island is clearly what we in the industry call a "gamer" comic. I'm sure you've seen them before, and you're probably chomping at the bit to tell me that you know what I'm talking about. You know, like<a href="http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic"> Penny Arcade</a> (yuck), <a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Powerup_Comics/index.php">Powerup Comics</a> and T<a href="http://www.isotown.net/index.php">hat One Where The Guy Builds Tiny Buildings</a>. This comic is all about games and gaming and what it means to play a game.<br /><br />Terror Island belongs to a subgenre, though. It is not just only a gamer comic. Terror Island is a sprite comic. I'm sure you saw my friend's review of Eight Bit Darkling. That is the kind of thing. They take characters from games, and without even changing a thing or drawing them, they just use pictures of characters from the games. It's annoying, because the characters are from old games (something to do with copyright maybe?) and they always look super old and dated.<br /><br />Well, Terror Island must have been the oldest and most dated of all, because <a href="http://www.terrorisland.net/strips/219.html">the games in Terror Island are the oldest of all probably</a>. They are not even from a computer or a nintendo. They are from games so old that they are played on boards. Games like chess and stratego and the one where you have to buy real estate (Monopoly). Who decided that this is appropriate for a modern comic strip? It feels like it is low-tech. It feels like it is a cassette tape player when all the other gamer comics are ipods. I feel like when I read it I am limited to only listening to one side of a single album, and I can't even choose which song I want to listen to first. I even have to rewind it sometimes.<br /><a href="http://terrorisland.net/strips/072.html"><br />What did we do to deserve this</a>?<br /><br />You would think that the main idea of the comic (there are two gamers who want each other to buy something from the store) would never get old and always be funny every time that you read about it, but when you get down to the nitty-gritty deets (details), you find out that it's actually much worse that anyone could imagine. The ideas for comics are actually <a href="http://terrorisland.net/strips/013.html">really</a> <a href="http://terrorisland.net/strips/106.html">cliche</a>. I think that <a href="http://terrorisland.net/strips/089.html">most of these jokes were actually stolen from King of the Hill</a> (remember that episode where Hank had to get women's pms stuff from a grocery store and didn't want to? <span style="font-style: italic;">Coincidence?</span>)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvTwaRqls4vH-880Ir6LOjwO-je231QT2vg_Va2f_JBhAhp6CkBtEetswIyB54CQuAISI8H2iSozSnTiVhluoLrUPQOUeoSmKq0W1a5nzCSedNluA7-TYt0SnNcIc1MVN4vXKk-0zEUTM/s1600-h/hank.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvTwaRqls4vH-880Ir6LOjwO-je231QT2vg_Va2f_JBhAhp6CkBtEetswIyB54CQuAISI8H2iSozSnTiVhluoLrUPQOUeoSmKq0W1a5nzCSedNluA7-TYt0SnNcIc1MVN4vXKk-0zEUTM/s400/hank.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5136902569575644242" border="0" /></a>This is just kind of my little joke. I thought it would be funny to have Hank Hill be sad. You don't need to take this part of the review seriously.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr48ymDIrZx86j51mMckYJLyVEM_bLOzWn8EH0Y60rhYZwyhUwtFUPj8xQl3rzv3o1v1HFcukAZduNwljkzQrbP9I2m8vNuvB9RS_CRSunYwKhyphenhyphen_zTzQTEWv7WUBEysXfp9hde0omMX6A/s1600-h/hankGetsMoreDramatic.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr48ymDIrZx86j51mMckYJLyVEM_bLOzWn8EH0Y60rhYZwyhUwtFUPj8xQl3rzv3o1v1HFcukAZduNwljkzQrbP9I2m8vNuvB9RS_CRSunYwKhyphenhyphen_zTzQTEWv7WUBEysXfp9hde0omMX6A/s400/hankGetsMoreDramatic.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5136902569575644258" border="0" /></a>Can't you see it?<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_5LjcdZ3wZgRiD7UOoqWo8XQBPK2DF-1-cCE84sTGsD9vnZmdlaHLPK2wDbfcqGIA-7Ssox6XM8w2RGF5Df9ijRbQsTS5QLXsQGlLmbHbQFoohXxktFcHWbssbgXlz4JEBcVU5KpUabU/s1600-h/hankReelsThemIn.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_5LjcdZ3wZgRiD7UOoqWo8XQBPK2DF-1-cCE84sTGsD9vnZmdlaHLPK2wDbfcqGIA-7Ssox6XM8w2RGF5Df9ijRbQsTS5QLXsQGlLmbHbQFoohXxktFcHWbssbgXlz4JEBcVU5KpUabU/s400/hankReelsThemIn.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5136902573870611570" border="0" /></a>Oh, wow, I did not mean for Hank Hill to tell everyone that juicy piece of information! I think that you had all better ignore that, because as an award-winning blogger and critic, I really don't need to have the problem of women knowing that I am single. That would be too much for one man to deal with!<br /><br />Let me talk a little bit about the characters of Terror Island. <a href="http://www.terrorisland.net/dramatis.html">You can find pictures here to go with the names that I am giving out.</a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sid</span> is one of the characters, and it is frequently hinted at that he suffers from a heart condition, but we are never told what it is. Maybe the clues are buried too deep, but I don't feel like reading into it that much.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stephen</span> is a character who has changed a lot from the early strips for no reason. I don't know what he is supposed to even be like because he is very inconsistent (example: He is now a czar, but at first he was not)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">York</span> is basically the authors trying to be like other sprite comics, but they did not have the same games. He is obviously supposed to be the Sonic the Hedgehog character, but they couldn't afford to make him look like it I guess.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ally Cs</span> is actually pretty much an inserted character that represents the author.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Omicron</span> was supposed to be the main character at first, but has been eclipsed by other characters who aren't very good. It's too bad, because this character could take the strip into new territory.<br /><br />OK, so what can Terror Island do to become a good webcomic? Well, maybe it could actually try to be a decent sprite comic instead of a comic that uses sprites from games that are so old. It could even probably keep using the same characters, just with updated sprites.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzULlqdhKrzBxOgNXqm06H5Op-DzryrmWgXJZd0a_eei02EvPzKAnVi4-0vWU5oZzcr-1xpyo0DOFAppx_KR4Sq4YRm2bAhU-tDN_1kKbvpct-s8jxKLDvu04DBLz2MpFcyo8djXEoRn8/s1600-h/TerrorIslandWithNewerSprites.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzULlqdhKrzBxOgNXqm06H5Op-DzryrmWgXJZd0a_eei02EvPzKAnVi4-0vWU5oZzcr-1xpyo0DOFAppx_KR4Sq4YRm2bAhU-tDN_1kKbvpct-s8jxKLDvu04DBLz2MpFcyo8djXEoRn8/s400/TerrorIslandWithNewerSprites.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5136911816640232578" border="0" /></a>Please note that when Sid calls Stephen an ugly sack it is not something dirty. It is like a gunnysack.<br /><br />It was really hard for me to get these sprites, and they don't quite look right, but these are from actual computer games instead of old wooden games, so really, it's automatically better no matter how good the sprites came out. As you can see I also changed it to have some references to the games that it was inspired by. (chess)<br /><br />So keep on trying, Terror Island. Keep my advice in mind and you might actually have something that I feel like we did something specific to deserve.<br /><br />Until then, see you later and we'll meet again.<br /><br />(({}==----Sonty Mick----=={}))Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-45695272013899717042007-11-18T19:02:00.000-08:002007-11-18T20:33:09.744-08:00Dresden CodakJust what is crap?<br /><br />What does it take for a comic to not be good enough anymore? So that we call it a bad comic? How does it have to go wrong? What kind of problems need to arise that make it so bad that we call it crap? It's a question that most people answer without ever being asked. It's a question that takes a mind like that of Sonty Mick (me, for my new readers) to ask and answer.<br /><br />I can tell you one thing right off the bat: If the comic that is so bad is on the web, then it is called a bad webcomic. That seems like a thing that you would know without even needing to ask, but you'll notice that if I hadn't pointed it out, you probably wouldn't have noticed. Also, it is called crap if it isn't any good.<br /><a href="http://dresdencodak.com/index.html"><br />Dresden Codak</a> is crap.<br /><br />Now I know what you're all thinking. "But Sonty! Isn't Dresden Codak actually an OK webcomic?<br /><br />No.<br /><br />No.<br /><br />No.<br /><br />I can see what would make you start out along that line of thinking, but to say that Dresden Codak is actually OK is like saying that if you go out at sunrise, you will automatically catch a fish. You still need a fishing pole, a tackle box, a hook, bait/lures, and some water. It doesn't matter how good the sunrise is. It doesn't even matter if it's the best sunrise in history.<br /><br />No sunrise can make it so you can catch fish without doing anything. Anybody who tells you something other than that is probably pulling your leg.<br /><br />Dresden Codak has several problems. One of them is that <a href="http://dresdencodak.com/cartoons/dc_024.htm">when you read it, you remember certain tunes that you do not like, and then you get them stuck in your head</a>. This is a problem that I try to avoid. In fact, I will often avoid going to grocery and convenience stores if there is a hit radio single that I hate and do not want to hear. Dresden Codak makes all of that pointless. From reading <a href="http://dresdencodak.com/cartoons/dc_019.htm">this comic</a> I am now thinking about that song about beautiful girls where someone is suicidal.<br /><br />What am I supposed to do with this?<br /><br />The artwork in this comic reminds me<a href="http://dresdencodak.com/cartoons/dc_040.html"> A LOT </a>of back when I used to go to my grandma's house, and I would not want to listen to the grown-up conversations, so I would have to go into the other room and watch stuff on the TV. Often, I would watch blooper and home video shows, and this molded me into who I am today.<br /><br />Dresden Codak is like those shows, but where are all the bloopers? Where are the guys getting hit in the groin with objects that are moving toward their groins? Where are the dogs who bark too much and pee in the wrong places? Where are the babies who ask their mothers questions about bras in front of company?<br /><br />They're nowhere to be seen. Dresden Codak just isn't about that kind of thing. The main point of it seems to be <a href="http://dresdencodak.com/cartoons/dc_030.htm">to set up your expectations and then not have something funny happen to a person's head</a>. (for instance: hitting the street when a bike falls down)<br /><br />I have honestly gone through the whole archive and not seen anything that even seemed hostable by Bob Saget.<br /><a href="http://dresdencodak.com/cartoons/dc_027.htm"><br />This installment</a> is the biggest monument I have seen yet to the failure of Dresden Codak. The bear steals the girl's idea, but it does not fall off of a ladder. It does not scream because it is on an amusement park ride that goes upside-down. It doesn't even do a karate kick and split its pants. These things seem like small objections, but if there's one thing that my webcomic reviewing career has taught me, it's that the little things add up. They add up fast, to the point where I don't even want to deal with this anymore.<br /><br />I will never read this comic again.<br /><br />OK, so I guess I should probably do something constructive, and tell you all how Dresden Codak could be improved. It is a greatly painful thing for me to do, because every time I see this comic it strikes a hurtful nerve, and I sweat a lot. It's not the kind of thing that I like to admit, especially when my readers put me on a pedestal.<br /><br />I'm going to try to fix it. It'll be hard...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW5VFtv6So3vNbiu0bX0C6fK_Xuo7Xt72vl6yG4kbIqgGBnpS2VILw1p66YEGGe8DFRXwATzsR34FTM7yM_8mDf_sdMHAeIvIB9KUExj6SwMa_GdUnyx2SteKQLz68UwyVxOuUFcQFEWk/s1600-h/SontyDoesDresdenCodak.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW5VFtv6So3vNbiu0bX0C6fK_Xuo7Xt72vl6yG4kbIqgGBnpS2VILw1p66YEGGe8DFRXwATzsR34FTM7yM_8mDf_sdMHAeIvIB9KUExj6SwMa_GdUnyx2SteKQLz68UwyVxOuUFcQFEWk/s400/SontyDoesDresdenCodak.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5134402075432312818" border="0" /></a>OK, that was way, way too hard. This comic is clearly definitely beyond repair. I tried. You saw me try to save it, but it could not be done. There was nothing that I could do. Dresden Codak is just too bad. It is just too far from funny. It's just so bad.<br /><br />It's like if you were on an airplane, and you felt kind of uncomfortable, and you kind of wished that you could get off the plane because you thought that in an hour or two you might feel sick, but you already payed for the ticket and are on the plane, so you really can't. It's like if you were trying to play some miniature golf using your neighbor's window wells as makeshift hazards, and then you broke one of his windows, so you put a ten dollar bill in the window through the hole, and then went inside so that nobody would see you, and then you looked out the window every now and then to see if he was doing any kind of reaction.<br /><br />That's Dresden Codak for you. Just too disappointing. Just so bad that you can't do anything to fix it.<br /><br />That's why I don't recommend it. Not even if you are stuck on an island and it is the only part of the internet that you can get to.<br /><br />The End<br /><br />(((##)*^*^*^Sonty Mick^*^*^*(##)))Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com65tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-78215211881566076422007-11-15T20:50:00.000-08:002007-11-16T07:40:41.168-08:00Sonty Mick: Fanart, awards, literatureThis post is not a review. If you are looking for a review, then you should scroll down and look at some reviews. Alternately, you can wait for me to write another review and scroll up. Or you can just learn to be content with the fact that not all blog posts are reviews, and that's sometimes OK. It's sometimes even the best thing that can happen to you.<br /><br />As a very successful blogger with many, many fans, I obviously get a large amount of fanart on a pretty regular basis. People like to draw my picture. It's what you do when you really admire a person's ability to blog. I am going to use this post to just kind of show off some of the great art that people have sent to me in order to celebrate me and this blog that I write. I am humble when I reveal this art to you.<br /><br />This little doodle is by someone named Dave. Dave did not tell me if he had a last name or what it was, but that's OK, because he is the only dave so far to send any pictures. There is no need to be confused.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqiLEuP4Y8_N8K5lyud07Cg4Z760biyCZuB4HjpBLYEOOGZhQPYLjsgUD1loid9k9ltkadQi-PBy8TSYhYFK8c9lvLEW0Ip1wG9olEVQDmT3t4S_wV7tYQW_HKQbMWkbs2fY1RAW23ad4/s1600-h/SontyByDave.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqiLEuP4Y8_N8K5lyud07Cg4Z760biyCZuB4HjpBLYEOOGZhQPYLjsgUD1loid9k9ltkadQi-PBy8TSYhYFK8c9lvLEW0Ip1wG9olEVQDmT3t4S_wV7tYQW_HKQbMWkbs2fY1RAW23ad4/s400/SontyByDave.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5133298629614493538" border="0" /></a>This next piece is a work of real, or "true" art. It comes from a variety of sources and it catches my good side. The maker of this is John B.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgk2xY2s13C1ejpvr6tqookkzPD5ItrQ6xPkTrD6cPIxwOUzcPR7Qu9BsMCpbln_OwrSKynQ1LhrlISy7YKtY4xochxgz3okzZ1vb8oIQJhO4DR2dTmyhs5RDFjyp4U_tiDeoydLow6f0/s1600-h/Sontyportrait.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgk2xY2s13C1ejpvr6tqookkzPD5ItrQ6xPkTrD6cPIxwOUzcPR7Qu9BsMCpbln_OwrSKynQ1LhrlISy7YKtY4xochxgz3okzZ1vb8oIQJhO4DR2dTmyhs5RDFjyp4U_tiDeoydLow6f0/s400/Sontyportrait.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5133298621024558930" border="0" /></a><br /><br />You may not know it, but this next one, from Emily Hal. is actually very good. It is very well made. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSkLX0ihpXkvUSUu_LN2jIH1lD-x0EpM7dawY9m5M9Rnu4BBntIg-s82zJg1zh3Jpkdq1rfxMUgNaVTMEkQwXOuk0kMJ7QjeUzjXnBNBghLsDArC8A6wbjBOgGBBJt0BGHcDEOnmW_tiw/s1600-h/SontyByHal.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSkLX0ihpXkvUSUu_LN2jIH1lD-x0EpM7dawY9m5M9Rnu4BBntIg-s82zJg1zh3Jpkdq1rfxMUgNaVTMEkQwXOuk0kMJ7QjeUzjXnBNBghLsDArC8A6wbjBOgGBBJt0BGHcDEOnmW_tiw/s400/SontyByHal.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5133298638204428146" border="0" /></a><br />This one is by Unwinder. It is probably the most accurate version of what my body looks like.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWM-RtpP4Q-RT95CYHq6Trjvs2YSMTWGR2wGmJOAyeqOxALn-PxEBgMJJrQUf6pn8HtXSwIQosjuTGjdgj1PUjB5b3UZHLimPMAP6R3Snz8fHXpd3wgwNhxOGAcGs7yUnTJpsrkYB5lqg/s1600-h/TheOfficialSonty.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWM-RtpP4Q-RT95CYHq6Trjvs2YSMTWGR2wGmJOAyeqOxALn-PxEBgMJJrQUf6pn8HtXSwIQosjuTGjdgj1PUjB5b3UZHLimPMAP6R3Snz8fHXpd3wgwNhxOGAcGs7yUnTJpsrkYB5lqg/s400/TheOfficialSonty.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5133300566644744098" border="0" /></a><br />This last one is definitely the bast. It has me looking like I am a god, or maybe a king of gods. I am battling metaphorical webcomic ideas.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGegMcp6-lfPiJ3GoX2a5iC32bAtKFLcNQtt_Z7Rh7mHRrR7rAnX11z7Q-rl_Lzy5tlWDik_Am3zdwtR4u5osuTUdPK0SkL_wOQdpT-YF9pOGTfCz85ttgtDWUq21uUOPOsi0-GMnw4-g/s1600-h/sontyxk3.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGegMcp6-lfPiJ3GoX2a5iC32bAtKFLcNQtt_Z7Rh7mHRrR7rAnX11z7Q-rl_Lzy5tlWDik_Am3zdwtR4u5osuTUdPK0SkL_wOQdpT-YF9pOGTfCz85ttgtDWUq21uUOPOsi0-GMnw4-g/s400/sontyxk3.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5133298646794362770" border="0" /></a><br />OK, that is the end of today's fanart section. Don't go away just yet, though, because I have also won some new awards, and I'd like for you to see them, so you can really get a sense of how credible I am. As you can see, I am a major expert.<br /><br />This first one is sort of a peace offering from Miles Grover. He might not be so much of my enemy anymore after this, but I still don't think his webcomic is past the point of needing a ton, or even a metric ton of work.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsm1SOyeXlu4Z3ccSyWFGxvRkPMoaPlYwotWXfOo75-0z2p7xFD4SMof6DjidLPUbOvIFLKWAA0zVrtECOREGqzMlwkZEggZ81eGIpaLlVfk39Uu7fbZuL8camWfUEmcN94pnpbaHUImA/s1600-h/sonty-award.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsm1SOyeXlu4Z3ccSyWFGxvRkPMoaPlYwotWXfOo75-0z2p7xFD4SMof6DjidLPUbOvIFLKWAA0zVrtECOREGqzMlwkZEggZ81eGIpaLlVfk39Uu7fbZuL8camWfUEmcN94pnpbaHUImA/s400/sonty-award.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5133301541602320306" border="0" /></a>These next awards are all from a person named Kevdude. As you can see, I am not only a good blogger, I am also good at being a human and having opinions/a stylized name.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg_iEeSD1BGWcNmjBpTs37nuS1oI3BDi2sLkgM7tvFTPdVULcTDRvEDcms4hmOuhsweN-xZZgDYk292CUBspk317NZHSzpiLrIxnM38JRIVXHUFvRVl_Uk5bfKMn-Oz6CFzxZSumBUvBU/s1600-h/greatesthumantb0.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg_iEeSD1BGWcNmjBpTs37nuS1oI3BDi2sLkgM7tvFTPdVULcTDRvEDcms4hmOuhsweN-xZZgDYk292CUBspk317NZHSzpiLrIxnM38JRIVXHUFvRVl_Uk5bfKMn-Oz6CFzxZSumBUvBU/s400/greatesthumantb0.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5133301545897287634" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlYpRdH7JlVF5tuihzr-bmtAOxscefWGwfWgFLzXUdBoSN6EBPv_i837O0ANEW3hYnf1M7mOlKzn7NS4eCbunq7huafqv03Mbv9YbCGcC3Vi0zQD5W-JX-EHFYnguSZTvuVoeYxf0XC2I/s1600-h/bestopinionsol7.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlYpRdH7JlVF5tuihzr-bmtAOxscefWGwfWgFLzXUdBoSN6EBPv_i837O0ANEW3hYnf1M7mOlKzn7NS4eCbunq7huafqv03Mbv9YbCGcC3Vi0zQD5W-JX-EHFYnguSZTvuVoeYxf0XC2I/s400/bestopinionsol7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5133301550192254946" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEius69itueF8KI3bUHEwhCZrCSWPmPc3wXpgc9SsEauvuGA6c9wEuunDwDTqwogcWIn8ZNFKcFvatViZdjRPRiQoUppgXAABGJqYA7MrzBcSKwH8zc59gQKiyiJERNYxVdJyAvftGbF4hg/s1600-h/stylizedii8.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEius69itueF8KI3bUHEwhCZrCSWPmPc3wXpgc9SsEauvuGA6c9wEuunDwDTqwogcWIn8ZNFKcFvatViZdjRPRiQoUppgXAABGJqYA7MrzBcSKwH8zc59gQKiyiJERNYxVdJyAvftGbF4hg/s400/stylizedii8.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5133301545897287618" border="0" /></a><br />Those are all the awards I got today. That's a pretty reasonable number for one day. I haven't got any honorary degrees from universities yet, but I'll bet they'll start coming in pretty soon now. After you win tons of awards, people notice you.<br /><br />The last thing that I need to show you before I go and sleep for a number of hours that is much shorter than eternity is a book that I am working on with a ghostwriter. It is in negotiations right now, so I don't know where it will go, but I have a good feeling about it.<br /><br /><a href="http://filer.case.edu/%7Emeb21/sontymick01.htm">This is it</a><br /><br />OK, that's all for today! New review out soon I'm sure!<br /><br />****(}(([(~~^^^~~SONTY MICK~~^^^~~)])){)****<br /><br />PS, send all fanart and awards to<span style="font-weight: bold;"> sontymick at gmail dot com</span>Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-12645022681136269552007-11-13T17:45:00.000-08:002007-11-14T00:24:27.301-08:00XKCDOK, so so far I have been doing all these bad comics and to this day none of them has brought me to my knees. However, when I started reading this comic, which is, in my mind, the literary equivalent of accidentally using your mom's toothbrush, I had a sort of a little avalanche in my head. Nothing too serious. Just a mountain goat bleating too loudly, and causing some ice to crack and fall. It didn't knock over any trees, if that's what you're wondering.<br /><br />XKCD is sort of like the hive of the internet, as in people go in and out of it, all working toward the same cause, and it serves the useful purpose of providing metaphorical pollen for other comics, or "flowers". At the same time, though, I wish it wasn't a part of the process, because XKCD has stung me a grand number of times. As a matter of fact, I'd like to think that the wounds are still in me. It stings like if you were to loose your father, or maybe be emotionally distant from him.<br /><br />What does it mean to be human? XKCD tries so hard to answer this, but in the end, it turns out to be kind of a stupid question, because no human would read XKCD. Not even a human who didn't know how to love his son, or a robot that was just discovering how to be human.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.xkcd.com/152/">Take a look at this strip?</a><br /><br />It's apparent from this appalling installment that XKCD can't be expected to deliver. It's like the pizza guy just kind of went slack-jawed and didn't even do a thing. It's like the flower shop had a wilting party.<br /><br />Sometimes it's a <a href="http://xkcd.com/86/">perky situation</a> in XKCD. Sometimes <a href="http://xkcd.com/330/">we see ideas fall</a>. Sometimes there is <a href="http://xkcd.com/92/">love and romance</a>. But there's an ingredient missing...Oh yes there is. Not all love is romance, and somebody forgot about it. Maybe somebody shoved it screaming into a closet and yelled. Maybe somebody hasn't dealt with their past.<br /><br />Sometimes when I read XKCD <a href="http://xkcd.com/89/">I am reminded of episodes from my own life that haunt me</a>. I'm trying not to make this personal, but I just don't like to look at a comic and remember my first dead pet.<br /><br />The characters:<br /><br /><a href="http://xkcd.com/329/">Stick man</a>: I can't figure this guy out. He's sometimes so open, but he never actually does any leaping off the page. He tells me things, and he talks to me, but I think it's all a front to justify who he is when nobody is watching. I resent him, but in a way I want to be like him.<br /><br /><a href="http://xkcd.com/12/">Stick man with hat:</a> He feels so distant... He's authoritative and he can discipline, but he has problems. Probably with alcohol and with not feeling the same love that he used to. I think that he wants to move on, but I'm terrified.<br /><br /><a href="http://xkcd.com/7/">Sleeping girl:</a> All she can do now is sleep. There is nothing for her when she is awake.<br /><br /><a href="http://xkcd.com/292/">Velociraptor:</a> The big problem with the velociraptors in this comic is that it is too obvious that they symbolize God. Way to hit us over the head with a keyboard from the seventies.<br /><br />XKCD is more than a comic. It's a metaphor for a life that is just not working right. It's a sigh. It's a cry out for attention. It's a little boy who was raised by a television, and then we wonder why he lashes out and breaks the neighbors arm, and then he has to visit him at the hospital, but he doesn't want to and he screams until his mother says he doesn't have to go to the hospital but for once she would like to have a normal family.<br /><br />I want to see a different XKCD.<br /><br />An XKCD that gives hope to certain people who didn't have the best childhoods.<br /><br />This is what I want to see:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8nwfKLPsQSBVWWM8B31XZeN93OagxZHdRrTjjcQ6FkevxJ-BVVLqfHda1KWIR9WTj-5YTolIhAdBRlkb35nKRpIu5jzopsFgFTr6zygkXT4bqtKrspw_Eb0JtpNNdBqY53VIWVlUf7FU/s1600-h/AGoodLife.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8nwfKLPsQSBVWWM8B31XZeN93OagxZHdRrTjjcQ6FkevxJ-BVVLqfHda1KWIR9WTj-5YTolIhAdBRlkb35nKRpIu5jzopsFgFTr6zygkXT4bqtKrspw_Eb0JtpNNdBqY53VIWVlUf7FU/s400/AGoodLife.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5132607527000141570" border="0" /></a>That's what the real readers want. They want something that will comfort them for things that have happened in their lives. I'm sure that every person in the world can relate to at least one part of that comic that I just drew. Even if your dog didn't die, maybe your mom still yelled a lot. There is something here for everybody.<br /><br /><a href="http://xkcd.com/140/">Now let's compare that with another real XKCD.</a><br /><br />As you can see, XKCD doesn't really understand the real emotions. Just the fake ones that we put on. The ones that make us seem interesting, or that provoke a thought of attraction in a woman. This is just the kind of thing that makes us all wish that our grandpa had never done what he did in the garage. It makes us all wish we hadn't seen the things we had seen. It makes us all wish that our mothers had never had to tell us that it was going to be a long time before we could go back home again, because we changed the locks but we're never safe if a certain person knows where we live.<br /><br />So that's XKCD for you. Flat and not real.<br /><br />Sonty out.<br /><br />(((~~$$~~Sonty Mick~~$$~~)))Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com105tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-15644366830845961592007-11-10T17:54:00.000-08:002007-11-10T18:00:13.909-08:00Eight Bit DarklingGreetings, mortals! Allow me to introduce myself; my name is Gaius Satiricus, and I will be a periodic contributor to this fine blogging establishment to help out my good friend and fellow genius Sonty Mick. There are so many bad webcomics out there that one man simply cannot be expected to make fun of them all, so I have offered my services to stem the tide of college freshmen and snarky coffee shop 'baristas', lest they overwhelm us all and our society crumbles into the dust like ancient Rome which came before us.<br /><br />Today I will be surveying the work of one Eight Bit Darkling, a man of limited means and 7th grade artistic abilities. While Mr. Darkling's works are currently few, but to paraphrase Mother Teresa, if that drop were not in the ocean, the ocean would be one drop less. In the ocean of crap before us, this drop is putrid indeed, and one can hardly be blamed for seeking to stem the tributary at its source.<br /><br />Mr. Darkling's work is primarily sprite comics, a genre pioneered by such luminaries as <a href="http://www.smbhq/nc/comix2.html">Neglected Mario Characters</a> and <a href="http://www.bobandgeorge.com/Archive/index.php?date=000430">Bob and George</a>. Its chief advantage as a format is that it allows a man with literally no artistic skills to mask this lack of talent by appropriating video game graphics ten to fifteen years out of date. The inauguration of this style of webcomic lowered the bar for access to the medium by removing the "must sort-of be able to draw" requirement, giving the internet <a href="http://www.bobandgeorge.com/Subcomics/index.html">one more swollen hive of scum and villainy</a>.<br /><br />Exhibit one of Mr. Darkling's work is <a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Megacomic/index.php?p=290160">a classic example of the genre</a> entitled "Megacomic". Note the innovative use of sprites from the little-known Mega Man series, which might be described as the village bicycle of sprite comics. Consider the judicious use of capitalization. The choice of 8-bit simplicity over 16-bit sophistication seems to beg for an explanation; a commentary on globalization perhaps? Or is it merely the artistic equivalent of a six-pack and a La-Z-Boy, ham fists roaming to scratch hairy crevices before passing out in the hot, hot sun.<br /><br />In the interest of providing constructive criticism, I have compiled a few suggestions for the misguided young Mr. Darkling that he may not get from his companions in middle school:<br /><br />1. Take out Mega Man characters.<br />2. Although "HUH-WHA" is one way to do a double-take in print form, they are strange bedfellows in a hyphenated construction.<br />3. Take advantage of spell check. The words "#$%&" and "#$%&ing" cannot be found in any non-Chinese dictionary.<br /><br />Exhibit two of Mr. Darkling's work is a snippet from a webcomic by the name of <a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Deevolution/index.php?p=296868">Deevolution</a>. This work represents a new level for the author. While Megacomic was 8-bit, this comic is 16. Double the bits, double the quality? Unfortunately as we shall see, a mere increase in bittage is no cure for what nature left out. The charcters seem to speak for the author's subconscious mind. "Do you even KNOW what you're doing?!" one cries, as if to the heavens. His god, it seems, has foresaken him. Another asks "...heh?" Perhaps ironically. I know that's what I was thinking at this moment in the strip. Perhaps Mr. Darkling should consider adding a laugh track to give the viewer some sort of auditory cue as to which sections are considered funny. Visually, there is no indication.<br /><br />If Megacomic was the caterpillar, squirming and writhing in search of a leaf under which to hide its shame, then surely this is represents the cocoon stage, its hardened shell signifying one step forward yet perhaps also several steps back. What shall emerge?<br /><br />As Exhibit 3 makes clear, <a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Digimon_Left_Behind/index.php?p=299909">only the most specialest kind of butterfly</a>. Entitled "Digimon Left Behind", this webcomic signifies a departure from the safe, well-traveled harbor that is Mega Man sprite comics onto the international waters that are Digimon Fanfics. A dangerous move indeed, Mr. Darkling. Digimon has shown itself over the years to possess the supernatural vigor of a zombie, limbs twitching as it lurches forward, devouring the brains of American youth. Its stench rises up before heaven.<br /><br />The selection I have provided you with shows the characteristic elements of Mr. Darkling's style; his fond use of trite dialogue and his gentle caress of the caps lock key. I wonder sometimes about his love of exclamation points (apparently Mr. Darkling 'can't eat just one'). The sexual symbolism is, I believe, obvious. It is subtle touches like these that underscore the homoeroticism that oozes from Digimon's every pore. What red-blooded American boy hasn't looked longingly at the likes of Wargreymon's muscled flanks or Patamon's soft body? Surely Mr. Darkling is no exception.<br /><br />Our final glance at Mr. Darkling's work is Exhibit 4, <a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Digimon_Left_Behind/index.php?p=300366">a concept sketch</a> for a Digimon Left Behind character. While I admire the author's efforts at actual drawing, this work may be the most unconscionable of all. Pay particular attention to the gothic influences and the stylishly-placed hair clip. Tres metrosexual! The red-colored eyes hint subtly at drug influences in this particular work. The character seems to be crying out for help. While I sympathize with his plight, I can render little assistance.<br /><br />This last work is the most ominous of all perhaps because it marks a slippery slope for Mr. Darkling. Digimon may seem harmless, but I caution that it often serves as the gateway to <a href="http://www.godhatesfurries.com/viewimage.php?id=93">other, more dangerous memes</a>. It may not be long until you are the one in the cat suit, Mr. Darkling. It is my unhappy duty to stand today like a prophet of old, standing outside the city gates crying to the people to turn from their wickedness. Turn back, Mr. Darkling! Turn back for your own sake. Turn back, for all of our sakes.Gaius Satiricushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02494557270224124675noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-56001537236232509912007-11-08T11:58:00.001-08:002007-11-08T23:11:05.349-08:00Bear and KittenHello, and welcome back to the award-winning blog of Sonty Mick. I trust that you have all had a very admirable couple of windy days (if there was no wind, then I hope that you didn't try to fly any kites. I am gentle as a lamb, and wouldn't wish an inconvenience like that on my worst enemy (Probably Miles Grover)).<br /><br />For this, and other reasons, I feel pensive, but also a little bit sexy to be giving all of you a brand new review of a comic that I have read, and that I have found particularly awful. This comic is one that you may not have heard of, so I will tell you the title: <a href="http://www.south20th.com/index.php">Bear and Kitten</a>.<br /><br />Now I'm sure that warning flags have gone up in your heads right off the bat on this one. How would a comic about a bear and a kitten be interesting??? Well, if you have the talent and experience that I have, it's not too hard to think of a few ways:<br /><br /><ul><li>The bear and the kitten could be lovers who are not allowed to wed, because one of them is an arctic princess.</li><li>The kitten could, in a surprising reversal of expectations, devour the bear. Possible ending scene of kitten hitchhiking to Vegas. Jack Black makes a guest appearance.<br /></li><li>The bear and kitten are drug dealers in a future where drugs are legal and are sold out in the open with spectators watching.</li><li>Something like Gilligan's Island, but with a sci-fi twist where they are stuck in a small room.</li><li>The bear is an actor. The kitten is a director who tries to pressure the bear into doing comedy b/c the bear looks like Jack Black.</li><li>The bear looks like Jack Black and there are a lot of misunderstandings because the kitten mistakes him for Jack Black.</li></ul>As you can see, these are all terrific ideas for Bear and Kitten, but unfortunately, Bear and Kitten does not go in any of these fine directions. Instead, it settles for stories like <a href="http://www.south20th.com/index.php?date=2007-08-15">this</a>. What a shame. So much wasted potential. Now nobody else will be able to make any of those other ideas that I suggested, because the title "Bear and Kitten" is already taken. Such a waste.<br /><br />The kitten in this comic is not a real kitten; it does not leap after a bird that just came to get a bath. It is a kitten that <a href="http://www.south20th.com/index.php?date=2007-09-30">begins to be decorative</a>, but <a href="http://www.south20th.com/index.php?date=2007-07-11">ends when the going gets tough</a>. The bear is more true to life, but in more of an <a href="http://www.south20th.com/index.php?date=2007-08-29">animatronic</a>, <a href="http://www.south20th.com/index.php?date=2007-09-16">banjo-playing</a> kind of way. The kind where you want to take off your hat just to remind yourself what the inside of it looks like.<br /><br />I've done that before.<br /><br />If I were a king of a feudal state, and everyone else was in that time period, I would definitely let Andy (the author of Bear and Kitten) be a baron of some kind, not because I like his comics, but because I think that he would be good at that. After all, I did hear him called a "Baron of Webcomics" in a dream. Then later on in the dream I promised myself that it was true.<br /><br />When I read this comic, I honestly wonder how Jack Black must feel when he's expected to take all these blah movies with OK premises and bring them to life with his energy, and his ability to be like that guy we all know. If there was somehow a Jack Black of the webcomics world who went around starring in all of the webcomics that needed an extra bit of oomph, then maybe more webcomics would be worthy of the big screen.<br /><br />Can you imagine that? A big screen that instead of movies shows webcomics? Unbelievable! I'd want to see it! You can bet your bargains!<br /><br />However, since scrolling down is a little easier than scrolling sideways, most really long comics are more vertical than horizontal. That wouldn't really work with the average theater.<br /><br />You'd need some sort of exra-tall screen.<br /><br />More on that later...<br /><br />These characters seem to have serious problems with identifying themselves. I think that if they had to pick themselves out of a police lineup, they'd order coffee. That's not a cheeky way of saying that they have identity problems, that's a promise. And a promise unkept is like an eel that you can't catch. <a href="http://www.south20th.com/index.php?date=2007-08-04">It's like missing dinner because you couldn't hunt eels</a>. It's like crying.<br /><br />So here's what I think that Bear and Kitten could do to improve: Change the comic. Give it an overhaul. You could even improve it by just adding some simple changes to the whole archive:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpm5kihd1eUxujH39roHlZS1X329tVB_pveFNdY-c-rrrwkeDbL0unBXg7J_rYhAX4lRIvEY-ZaeoR7AHjZJCRIKGGeYc3HAz6bVd7MIEIWxa92fyUs9DiN4qEN_W7yiG0_NvjygQ53DQ/s1600-h/JackBlackIsAGod.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpm5kihd1eUxujH39roHlZS1X329tVB_pveFNdY-c-rrrwkeDbL0unBXg7J_rYhAX4lRIvEY-ZaeoR7AHjZJCRIKGGeYc3HAz6bVd7MIEIWxa92fyUs9DiN4qEN_W7yiG0_NvjygQ53DQ/s400/JackBlackIsAGod.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5130698585105731986" border="0" /></a>(You may have to zoom in to see it all, but it's SO much better.)<br /><br />And now that I've gotten done with that, back to that tall-screen movie theater I was talking about. This is my vision about what movie theaters will look like in the future:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikfkKUrnbhapOkKxnEvqr20GhEVPTW4F_rrvKqoO4X1qq564CpMPMPMKoOSnVXj2LuQwGVw8x5wS34loHVvhT3ovd6WSJXMlYRGTuhmv4yckeSEZqcDuYCG3KZK6LusjX7AxKz8_rf_Jc/s1600-h/JustTestingToSeeIfIAmAProphet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikfkKUrnbhapOkKxnEvqr20GhEVPTW4F_rrvKqoO4X1qq564CpMPMPMKoOSnVXj2LuQwGVw8x5wS34loHVvhT3ovd6WSJXMlYRGTuhmv4yckeSEZqcDuYCG3KZK6LusjX7AxKz8_rf_Jc/s400/JustTestingToSeeIfIAmAProphet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5130698589400699298" border="0" /></a>OK, so the review part of this post is over, I'd like to just let you all know that I won a few awards today. No big deal, you know. Just some awards for being so good at blogging.<br /><br />The first one is the <a href="http://3rd-attempt.blogspot.com/2007/11/first-award-for-oustanding-blogging.html">Third Attempt Award for Outstanding Blogging</a>. I have been hoping to win this award for quite some time now, and I feel like I really deserved it. Here is the plaque that came with the award:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHUkuAyzV16oAj8N-DsmfU83z3ad4FdjoIFx5vzseoum3dUR0dQBGuLYOIMO1zg21NEOlssbPxh2mxXxZQEMiw_wnjEdKxrD84A6f0oiOrvOb2-n_g1jrpecS_Vkn0nGum6fW9zYGNAyo/s1600-h/AnAwardThatIEarned.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHUkuAyzV16oAj8N-DsmfU83z3ad4FdjoIFx5vzseoum3dUR0dQBGuLYOIMO1zg21NEOlssbPxh2mxXxZQEMiw_wnjEdKxrD84A6f0oiOrvOb2-n_g1jrpecS_Vkn0nGum6fW9zYGNAyo/s400/AnAwardThatIEarned.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5130698589400699314" border="0" /></a><br />I also won the Outstanding Weblog Reviewing in Weblog Comic Reviewing: Sponsored by Steve Award. It is a very prestigious award, and I am actually the first person in the world who has ever been good enough to win it. I guess that says a few things about my blog... This image came with the award, and it's pretty amazing:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2LiqMtd0bm0OPHGW_a9gRub4rYmoI_X6aE8XJeUYRG5eDRAj65TJUM5HY2lhT0Y11SYfSsIY_HWag_a6Wbz26zXnLKQBneECNvA0eq5a9am7dLgwfs4tixkMqsL_AkNA26OLSznVKSHA/s1600-h/MyGreatAccomplishment.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2LiqMtd0bm0OPHGW_a9gRub4rYmoI_X6aE8XJeUYRG5eDRAj65TJUM5HY2lhT0Y11SYfSsIY_HWag_a6Wbz26zXnLKQBneECNvA0eq5a9am7dLgwfs4tixkMqsL_AkNA26OLSznVKSHA/s400/MyGreatAccomplishment.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5130698593695666626" border="0" /></a>So as you can see, I have been serious all this time when I have said that this is an award winning blog. I am honored to have these awards, and I will add them to my growing collection. I am a very busy guy when it comes to winning awards.<br /><br />(((~~::~~SONTY MICK~~::~~)))Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com115tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-14899275264996875482007-11-04T14:08:00.001-08:002007-11-04T14:24:22.852-08:00Thinkin' Lincoln Responds<span style="font-style: italic;font-family:verdana;" >"Oh no! It looks like I've gotten a </span><a style="font-style: italic; font-family: verdana;" href="http://webcomicssobad.blogspot.com/2007/10/thinkin-lincoln.html">bad review</a><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:verdana;" > from the infamous <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">webcomics</span> critic <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Sonty</span> Mick! I might as well just throw in the towel right now."<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-family:arial;">That is the response that I inspired Miles Grover of Thinkin' Lincoln, and that's really the response I should be getting, because I am definitely a person who commands a certain level of respect. I'm not saying a high level of respect, but when it comes to the legions, I've barked an order or two.<br /><br />Grover, your fear is healthy. It is only through fear that we grow, and it is only through growth that we enlarge. This is what my father taught me back when he was telling me what was good and bad about old comics in the newspaper (thats's right, readers. I come from generations of comic crit)<br /><br />I'm glad that you, Grover, didn't take the cowards way out and give me a bad latter in the mail, or maybe find out what my ebay ID is and then give me a bad review after buying a mug from me. You are a worthy adversary. Way to promote peace through fear.<br /><br />=++(((((~~<>~~Sonty Mick~~<>~~)))))++=<br /></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:verdana;" ></span>Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-82864468306685815232007-11-03T14:48:00.000-07:002007-11-03T15:32:56.690-07:00The Non-Adventures of WonderellaNow there are pits that people can sink into, and sometimes people sink so low that they make bad webcomics. I can think of a few examples, and you've probably read a few of my world famous blogs about them. Sometimes, though, a comic sinks so low that it could limbo under a very low limbo stick with very little effort, and sometimes without even trying. Low enough to work on the engine of a car without any jacks. Low enough that if it were a sound frequency it would make a dog bark loudly and then put its chin on its paws.<br /><br />That low is known as <a href="http://www.webcomicsnation.com/justinpie/wonderella/series.php">The Non-Adventures of Wonderella</a>. I've seen it before, and I tucked it behind my ear for later, and now it's later and I'm ready to open up a can.<br /><br />Let's see, what's wrong with Wonderella...So many things...Where to start...<br /><br />Well the first thing that I noticed was that the characters remind me of an art collector who buys an ancient chariot even though the original makers did not intend to make art. They are all trying to accomplish goals, but we never really see anything surface. It's like they're living in a world that is actually smaller than our world. In fiction, it's important to really create a sense of largeness, and I just don't feel anything here except maybe LARDness.<br /><br />What kind of jokes will you find in Wonderella? <a href="http://www.webcomicsnation.com/justinpie/wonderella/series.php?view=archive&chapter=22045">Horrible jokes</a>. I understand that if you don't think that they are bad, that might be a matter of taste, but what if having bad taste were<span style="font-style: italic;"> fatal</span>? I guess you'd be doing some deathbed repenting, wouldn't you? You'd probably <a href="http://www.webcomicsnation.com/justinpie/wonderella/series.php?view=archive&chapter=19601">have</a> <a href="http://www.webcomicsnation.com/justinpie/wonderella/series.php?view=archive&chapter=19036">a</a> <a href="http://www.webcomicsnation.com/justinpie/wonderella/series.php?view=archive&chapter=13909">funeral</a>.<br /><br />In order to write Wonderella, a person would have to get into an accident in which they got run over by a car, and the muffler hit them just right in the head so that they lost their memory for a while, and when they got it back they realized that they didn't like their identity, but then when they tried to build a new life they were ostracized, and to get revenge they made people read this comic.<br /><br />That's right. I called Wonderella a <span style="font-style: italic;">paradox</span>. <a href="http://www.webcomicsnation.com/justinpie/wonderella/series.php?view=archive&chapter=21887">I guess we'd better have a funeral, huh</a>?<br /><br />Jeepers.<br /><br />I haven't even got to the setting. It's about <span style="font-style: italic;">superheroes</span>. (oooh)<br /><br />A superhero is a person who has abilities that make him or her more powerful than a regular person. They have the ability to perform amazing feats.<br /><br />And what's a super<span style="font-style: italic;">villain</span>? Surprise surprise. It's exactly the same thing, only <span style="font-style: italic;">evil</span>. (whatever that means)<br /><br />Good work Wonderella. Wow. What an idea. I almost care enough to learn the names of your characters. But I guess I won't, so I guess I won't be crying at <a href="http://www.webcomicsnation.com/justinpie/wonderella/series.php?view=archive&chapter=12544">your funera</a>l.<br /><br />The artwork chooses not to even resemble what I would want it to look like at all. It looks like artwork that was made by an undergraduate medical student who thought he'd like to try drawing art, and when he did, he was pretty happy with the results, but later he drove himself to improve, and after a while, he decided he didn't want to be in medicine anymore.<br /><br />Later in life, he saw someone choking at a bar, and he was going to have to perform a throat surgery of some kind, but he couldn't, because he had given up medicine.<br /><br />Summary: This comic is so bad, that by making it, Justin Pierce, the author, is letting people die in bars.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.webcomicsnation.com/justinpie/wonderella/series.php?view=archive&chapter=13870">And he's not even going to their funerals.</a> (Sorry I keep talking about funerals here, but I went to one last week, and I can't stop thinking about them. How did they get started, anyway?)<br /><br />Wonderella is, without doubt, one of the best reasons to shut off your computer, and then turn it on again, instead of just rebooting like a regular person would. It's like a bad case of the blues. It's like finding a thumb in a burger. It's like going to the gym, and finding out that <a href="http://www.webcomicsnation.com/justinpie/wonderella/series.php?view=archive&chapter=14478">somebody deflated all the basketballs</a>.<br /><br />You just can't get away with this stuff. That's why Wonderella will never be adapted into a bestselling novel. And if that's the case why don't we <a href="http://www.webcomicsnation.com/justinpie/wonderella/series.php?view=archive&chapter=18516">just call up the coroner, rent a hearse, get an expensive gravestone, sent a note to all the relatives, get out our best black clothes, and have a funeral.</a><br /><br />Yes, let's have a big funeral for Wonderella.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfPXUycr2mo16qD9CT4tpB1NcGPgYSTQ4QeJfpps5HZgNzpLVihSJI1gFCGNIx7yknga8zKzJNFVTzkecbyc5K4lCVnrlDP9tyA1Sbu6J7xeb-EPToETdTSwBGMEDB1-jcR0UsclZm3BA/s1600-h/coffin1.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfPXUycr2mo16qD9CT4tpB1NcGPgYSTQ4QeJfpps5HZgNzpLVihSJI1gFCGNIx7yknga8zKzJNFVTzkecbyc5K4lCVnrlDP9tyA1Sbu6J7xeb-EPToETdTSwBGMEDB1-jcR0UsclZm3BA/s400/coffin1.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5128745076403616306" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfrduXISLYGEMMsNaEK6rb-K7z7a710g-2zkHhe-cuKfOCBmIKImbRXzdm5zHzwJygGvjYtYf8-x78ZI_Pv2RTanBfjm5EhZTzWgR7ALEthT8WIOtjIfxbR88zoYX15PEYV-AOD-iqvdA/s1600-h/coffin2.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfrduXISLYGEMMsNaEK6rb-K7z7a710g-2zkHhe-cuKfOCBmIKImbRXzdm5zHzwJygGvjYtYf8-x78ZI_Pv2RTanBfjm5EhZTzWgR7ALEthT8WIOtjIfxbR88zoYX15PEYV-AOD-iqvdA/s400/coffin2.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5128744737101199890" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhutZO3hNmOad34SebFv4Piai1ZdFrQrX2lCc_sRkqLnOFJwVmchMD7ebREchWn8Wss_9WomGjVj-KIsZYaP0Kv6dZa33zQ5Dz0LkL79MsPoIK2XztltEZn_fibAsJPxujUnv6klKe2Tns/s1600-h/coffin3.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhutZO3hNmOad34SebFv4Piai1ZdFrQrX2lCc_sRkqLnOFJwVmchMD7ebREchWn8Wss_9WomGjVj-KIsZYaP0Kv6dZa33zQ5Dz0LkL79MsPoIK2XztltEZn_fibAsJPxujUnv6klKe2Tns/s400/coffin3.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5128745076403616322" border="0" /></a>Rest in peace, Wonderella.<br /><br />Boo hoo hoo.<br /><br />-+((~~~~~~SoNtY MiCk~~~~~~))+-Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com99tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-78800421211274063932007-10-30T12:33:00.001-07:002007-10-30T12:58:44.691-07:00Thinkin' Lincoln*blows dust and spiders off of computer screen with glove, and takes a little polite bow*<br /><br />Hello my loyal readers and thanks for sticking around while I went on an internal journey to find myself (SURPRISE!). Boy, what an eventful couple of weeks it's been, huh? I can smell the history in the air.<br /><br />What's that?<br /><br />History?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.thinkin-lincoln.com/">Well! Here's a historical comic for you. Oh dear! It looks like it's not a very good one, though...</a><br /><br />Where do I even begin to discuss what goes wrong behind the scenes of this comic? (before you ask, the behind the scenes is as much a part of the art as anything) It seems like Miles Grover is a guy who just made up some stuff about some presidents and he said, "You know what? I'm going to call it a night!" And then that's what his comic is.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=401">Example</a><br /><br />Looks like we've caught Grover with his digital pants down on this one. Wow. What a display of bad ineptitude. This comic could be written by six fourth-graders working in a committee that doesn't work very well together and takes breaks to eat [fruit] snacks. Yes, this is not even truly a comic. It's the ashes of one. It's a burned out husk of a Bazooka Joe misfire that was probably plagiarized from Laffy Taffy and it's obviously for Dum-Dums and Nerds. (Tried to work Twizzlers in there, but couldn't. Sorry!)<br /><br />OK, all joking aside, you want to know the real problem? This comic just does not stand up to multiple readings. Observe the following panel:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s1600-h/20060908.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s400/20060908.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127219641459030514" border="0" /></a>OK, so this is not a bad panel really, right? I mean, you can read this comic, and after you've read it, you won't feel the urge to get up offa that thang and put on some CDs that your brother left in your room by mistake, and that you would never actually buy, right? Of course! But anybody can make something that isn't horrible once. This panel, like all Thinkin' Lincoln panels, overstays its welcome when you see it--oh, I don't know--Nine times?<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s1600-h/20060908.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s400/20060908.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127219641459030514" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s1600-h/20060908.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s400/20060908.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127219641459030514" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s1600-h/20060908.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s400/20060908.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127219641459030514" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s1600-h/20060908.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s400/20060908.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127219641459030514" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s1600-h/20060908.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s400/20060908.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127219641459030514" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s1600-h/20060908.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s400/20060908.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127219641459030514" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s1600-h/20060908.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s400/20060908.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127219641459030514" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s1600-h/20060908.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s400/20060908.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127219641459030514" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s1600-h/20060908.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgJOZjFpDvGxMwgQrnGU7e9GH7kqv4e0K7AMJMqBAcDh0FGLza1j3_5wpUquWSY2EiJw01mNfgGQab9RW_7TeA9fwUcnTw9NIB-THYPUzgUqh-XhmEFoVphwIasDM5tynPu2J8eHv7Uk/s400/20060908.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127219641459030514" border="0" /></a><br />Do you see what I mean? If you actually read the panel all those times, then you probably hate it by now, and if not, then you were probably using the technique of staring through it rather than looking directly at it. (old trick)<br /><br />OK, that's all I have to say about the writing, but what about the art?<br /><br />The art is just heads.<br /><br />Sound familiar? Oh yeah. Duh. Evolution (see prev. review). Great, it's good to know that these bad webcomic authors have the ability to rip each other off like a bunch of monkeys with typewriters ripping off Shakespeare. Good job, guys. Yeah, real good.<br /><br />That's enough. I'm drained.<br /><br />(~~~~~Sonty Mick~~~~~)Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-20081997761097380932007-09-21T16:05:00.000-07:002007-09-29T19:57:39.653-07:00EvolutionPeople have been asking me a lot of questions lately about how I became such a big shot reviewer on the internet, and I admit I've been pleasantly surprised. I might tell you that story sometime but today I have a review that I need to write fast:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.edthehead.com/">This is the comic that I'm reviewing today.</a><br /><br />Now right off the bat you can see the main problem: The characters are heads who, instead of sitting on the ground or even rolling just float in the air at a fixed height. Some people would ask why this happens, but really it's just because this <a href="http://www.edthehead.com/HugeArchive37.htm">webcomic</a> is <a href="http://www.edthehead.com/HugeArchive42.htm">horrible</a>.<br /><br />I don't know why I do this.<br /><br />I have tried and tried to come to terms with this comic and what it means to the world, but english is not a good enough language for it. I would have to learn swahili or something even to portray the idea of what this comic can be like. I know a lot of people joke about learning swahili, but I'm just so pissed that I might actually do it if I can find a good class/book/website for learning it (links appreciated.)<br /><br /><a href="http://www.edthehead.com/Comics/Ed0563.jpg">OK, look at this specific comic that I have selected for viewing.</a><br /><br />Notice how in panel 2 the character says "chairs aren't fair." Do you see it?<br /><br />Read it again and tell me how you <span style="font-style: italic;">feel</span>.<br /><br />I don't know about you, but I'd say that it makes me feel just a little wrong. I don't think that that line is something I can see myself saying, and I really just don't see how these things always end up happening. I know that we should permit this for freedom, but would it be so wrong to make just one comic illegal? (probably.)<br /><br />Now the thing about this comic is that the author isn't so special. Anybody could do this comic. Look at this. I will draw my own version of this comic and it won't even take me a minute.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ19V4sS0yC2bNmzoADf9lF_dDkJY6Xd1N_CVJoXfVUH8PLZkZo3qzzhCJ4G-dD5nflnyfvQkdtnwlhWFolPV1RiJFT30Bsr_xp_AqH_Dh63axkmvSRpA1yAfTjpxeizoTIDk8GPyLlYw/s1600-h/sontydoesevolution.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ19V4sS0yC2bNmzoADf9lF_dDkJY6Xd1N_CVJoXfVUH8PLZkZo3qzzhCJ4G-dD5nflnyfvQkdtnwlhWFolPV1RiJFT30Bsr_xp_AqH_Dh63axkmvSRpA1yAfTjpxeizoTIDk8GPyLlYw/s400/sontydoesevolution.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5115824549164054082" border="0" /></a><br />Notice how except for the fact that I have drawn a certain handsome man in this comic, other than that it is an exact duplicate of the kind of crap that is in this strip. In fact, it's actually a little better because it was not made by an idiot.<br /><br />I'm not going to post any more strips from the comic. You can find them yourself. But what I'm trying to say that this comic has a new problem every couple of days. For one thing, we never get the real picture of these guys and who they really are. They could be just anyone, and I would personally hardly notice. I would not even blink. They don't stand out in the wilderness because they have nothing to feed upon.<br /><br />I would recommend some real inspiration here. For instance, if you have a girlfriend, maybe she will do something funny that you can use in the strip. If you have a really funny dad, then maybe he has told a joke that you can use to figure out humor. If you have pets, then maybe you could post some photographs.<br /><br />I just try to be reasonable.<br /><br />So why don't you?<br /><br />(((~~~~~SONTY MICK~~~~~)))Sonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-10579069084273940112007-09-20T23:22:00.000-07:002007-09-20T23:48:36.979-07:00Alien Loves PredatorOk, sometimes when I'm just working and writing my reviews and just having a good old time, out of the blue something happens to make me pissed. Just extremely pissed. Like today I was just pissed for no reason, but some days there are reasons.<br /><br />But then I turn to web comics to cheer me up.<br /><br />And what do I see?<br /><br /><a href="http://alienlovespredator.com/">I guess what I see is something that probably should be a cave painting because it is so primitive. Warning: The art is too realistic. It's photos. That's why.</a><br /><br />OK, now that I've got that off my chest let me show you what goes wrong.<br /><a href="http://alienlovespredator.com/index.php?id=18"><br />This.</a><br /><br />I feel like I've been doing this blog for years, because I've had to read so many horrible webcomics, and it's really starting to turn me into a different kind of person. Like when I go to the store, and I'm looking at magazines, lately I see pictures of Linsey Lohan or whoever and I don't say anything to anyone. Then when I finally get a breath of fresh air, I'm not sure if I appreciate it or if I'm just used to it.<br /><br /><a href="http://alienlovespredator.com/?id=22">That's why I hate Alien Loves Predator.</a><br /><br />I know what you're thinking; This was a movie. Yes it was a movie, and yes I saw the movie. I only remember one scene, though, and that's where there was a pyramid and some guys were running down the side.<br /><br />Oddly enough that's a pretty apt description of this comic, only instead of a pyramid it's New York, because I guess that was cheaper than Egypt, huh?<br /><a href="http://alienlovespredator.com/index.php?id=204"><br />I could go on forever.</a><br /><br />Let me show you a panel that could improve...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_h_PWxqatdsamkQdZlGqR2lZ87SpzksNFWSS3_0oGUAHHMC8H6pr1wi7AwMTofzagi3saembWXrK-O2-cYfBTkgkc3LS2YOLN9HQ8G3V3N80uK6apP_vzpZwqAdDXfPmPcTBJXfTfynY/s1600-h/ballotbox.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_h_PWxqatdsamkQdZlGqR2lZ87SpzksNFWSS3_0oGUAHHMC8H6pr1wi7AwMTofzagi3saembWXrK-O2-cYfBTkgkc3LS2YOLN9HQ8G3V3N80uK6apP_vzpZwqAdDXfPmPcTBJXfTfynY/s320/ballotbox.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5112544143337682450" border="0" /></a>The problem with this is not that bill clinton is in here. We are all used to seeing political comics. The problem comes in when we see that old bill is talking about ballots. That's a problem because we already expect him to talk about that. It is not a surprise. It's a better joke if it's something you don't expect. I would change it to this:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJQL41NeWE71p4V5z8156rqgY-p42P4osDAWc-QkKtvox2B1Xtdu9vqGCjM4BW4d4K8zJsR6zyMoaQbbEEwTV25vy5baAlKMv17jlHDWlRAN_AoJquxCK84J_2lPxMyS8zEHc94XMmtUM/s1600-h/cerealbox.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJQL41NeWE71p4V5z8156rqgY-p42P4osDAWc-QkKtvox2B1Xtdu9vqGCjM4BW4d4K8zJsR6zyMoaQbbEEwTV25vy5baAlKMv17jlHDWlRAN_AoJquxCK84J_2lPxMyS8zEHc94XMmtUM/s320/cerealbox.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5112544143337682466" border="0" /></a>As you can see, the joke is funnier when I change it.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />A lot of people have been wanting to know if I can even draw comics if I am always talking about ones that are bad. Well, I have a little demonstration here. It's just a quick sketch, and it's not about the kinds of things I would normally draw comics about, but you get the idea...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsb6wq06CnmZ0oUijVbLSNO5er2uQlI7TuOYXF5gIv7Edmcdi3IEwjntbeA-2Y3ggY9rgb8xUZKoZ0iz2r-fdgfxfVUcIwsrl8KWkvwAKWGECz73NmZoUTNHlgkEgz4c-rffl0ufOnZCM/s1600-h/sontycomic.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsb6wq06CnmZ0oUijVbLSNO5er2uQlI7TuOYXF5gIv7Edmcdi3IEwjntbeA-2Y3ggY9rgb8xUZKoZ0iz2r-fdgfxfVUcIwsrl8KWkvwAKWGECz73NmZoUTNHlgkEgz4c-rffl0ufOnZCM/s320/sontycomic.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5112544147632649778" border="0" /></a>It's just a simple little thing. I did it in just a couple minutes, Maybe I'll make it better later...<br /><br />I just wanted to have something up.<br /><br />-Sonty MickSonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-49623747292903757092007-09-18T21:23:00.000-07:002007-09-18T21:40:11.515-07:00Unhappy Star<a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Unhappy_Star/index.php">Ladies and gentlemen I give you the worst.</a><br /><br />I have read some bad webcomics, and each one of them was like a road down a path that if you drive on it you go insane. I <span style="font-style: italic;">hate</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">hate</span> HATE bad webcomics. This I claim.<br /><br />That is why I don't know how to feel about Unhappy Star. It's a bad webcomic, so my first instinct is to hate it, but then I get the shakes, and I don't understand my own decision. That's when I need to really find some perspective and move on.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Unhappy_Star/index.php?p=272789">This is the first strip in the series. Pretty bad, huh?</a><br /><br />I almost didn't review this comic because I just know that if I do, I'm not going to be able to sleep for a couple of days. But lost sleep is better than lost journalistic integrity. That first strip, by the way is about a cactus with a beard. There is a man sitting on a stump, but we never see his face. That's where I zoned out. When I couldn't see his face. He might as well have no expressions and be a robot.<br /><br />Then I thought about what the strip would be like if he really was a robot.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz89QyBwihvhNXP2byjOztU6WgLCQ4pbR8-HhegR1FOciT695X6Ciflc6qVgolhK57XdbPKFJOFDwgTLJhCGlLMN6Riv3kpfdB7b1geNNgYshFEp9DFXTTW9RkFdeMmoR1xvKYxmg68CE/s1600-h/robot.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz89QyBwihvhNXP2byjOztU6WgLCQ4pbR8-HhegR1FOciT695X6Ciflc6qVgolhK57XdbPKFJOFDwgTLJhCGlLMN6Riv3kpfdB7b1geNNgYshFEp9DFXTTW9RkFdeMmoR1xvKYxmg68CE/s320/robot.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5111768717695310466" border="0" /></a>I guess not much better, huh?<br /><br />It's really too bad that it has to be this way.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Unhappy_Star/index.php?p=277375">In this installment, a guy opens doors with his bare hands and people are amazed.</a><br /><br />Well I guess that Justin Macoulay (the author) wants us to all be amazed that his charactr can open doors with his bare hands. Big whoop. I open doors with my own hands 1-99 times a day and nobody ever baked me brownies for it. Nobody even ever told me that I did a good job.<br /><br />This is so stupid.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Unhappy_Star/index.php?p=279874">The next one has a woman in it</a><br /><br />Are you expecting her to be so hot that we don't notice, Justin?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.drunkduck.com/Unhappy_Star/index.php?p=279874">Lasers</a><br /><br />OK now I have reviewed most of these strips and I can't go on because it's so bad. But still I'm going to list some things that are wrong with it:<br /><br />1. Clothes. Why do they dress like that? Was any thought put into it?<br />2. The name. Why is the star so unhappy? Nobody knows!<br />3. There is no way to participate in this comic.<br />4. I don't even remember the names of the characters. Names should be memorable.<br />5. That's enough.<br /><br />-Sonty MickSonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495891515456020880.post-70682575117995681562007-09-18T13:49:00.001-07:002007-09-18T14:18:11.659-07:00Penny ArcadeOK, the first thing that you need to know about this comic is what is up with it. The answer is probably nothing because as we have seen and has been proven over and over a thousand (or a hundred) times is that this is a <span style="font-style: italic;">bad webcomic</span>.<br /><br />(oooooh)<br /><br /><br />Now I know that you have heard it all before, and I know that you have been back to that dry well until you have emerged drier than a butt that you have wiped with this comic. I know. But lets take a closer look, shall we?<br /><a href="http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2000/12/22"><br />First of all what is this all about?</a><br /><br />BECAUSE I GUESS I DON'T EVEN KNOW<br /><br />(I might know)<br /><br /><a href="http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2001/09/19">(but this one I'm not so sure...)</a><br /><br />Anybody who has an explanation is free to comment, because in this blog I believe in freedom.<br /><br />Anyway, on the subject: Penny Arcade. Who drew this? A circus? I mean, it's one thing to be a circus performer and another thing to be a guy who works at the circus but does not perform (pocorn seller?) The penny arcade guys pull out every trick in the book, though. Every sungle trick. (I spelled single wrong on purpose)<br /><br />Here's a recent example:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7itpp1_q809yXyBAooa6RL9SV8PEUr1H7lV8xVu8IJjOFwZXguOJ-NuKZYDQKwOWPy1rNDMqG3Pi1tFq7Eu_l56-npiBEFJ_EXuYe01QETbu-xrcLvMctA0J4g67EWBgFaK1qgc_4G7k/s1600-h/part1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7itpp1_q809yXyBAooa6RL9SV8PEUr1H7lV8xVu8IJjOFwZXguOJ-NuKZYDQKwOWPy1rNDMqG3Pi1tFq7Eu_l56-npiBEFJ_EXuYe01QETbu-xrcLvMctA0J4g67EWBgFaK1qgc_4G7k/s320/part1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5111652958877803394" border="0" /></a>OK, it seems to make sense at this point. I mean, you win that argument. But lets take a good strong look at what we get if we move in for a closer look...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSbnF48pkA6eii0oiS_NCz6h0aRpMqOUz2LenXui4CFINiVesNjDmcn_h1l6HtOqPFOO-yI-lFarhDuhuAElj_2C5a7_o0zsXmrEt476KH4yEXczNazCLHyLIiR-i-OJ89gYgbQPEbTXY/s1600-h/part2escape.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSbnF48pkA6eii0oiS_NCz6h0aRpMqOUz2LenXui4CFINiVesNjDmcn_h1l6HtOqPFOO-yI-lFarhDuhuAElj_2C5a7_o0zsXmrEt476KH4yEXczNazCLHyLIiR-i-OJ89gYgbQPEbTXY/s320/part2escape.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5111653341129892754" border="0" /></a><br />Are you starting to see what I mean? It's almost scary, but I don't like to think about it. But when we get even closer of course the questions start to get a little bit more personal...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQDcBOKkl137V7duGAteYvLLgsSqIpoqehf1xREZy96NPhb5SQOOzDifgoKS2_y3HF3gkGsAM1N8NamN7AM5-M6oIliUPSIzT0LTwFBkBDiOvNCbw9Kcey0lfeo9BAcLeq_AkGBXjUG9E/s1600-h/part3theburningquestion.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQDcBOKkl137V7duGAteYvLLgsSqIpoqehf1xREZy96NPhb5SQOOzDifgoKS2_y3HF3gkGsAM1N8NamN7AM5-M6oIliUPSIzT0LTwFBkBDiOvNCbw9Kcey0lfeo9BAcLeq_AkGBXjUG9E/s320/part3theburningquestion.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5111653740561851298" border="0" /></a>I think that I've made my point clear. If I haven't, then let me break it down:<br /><br /><ol><li> Penny Arcade is not a true story and cannot claim to be based on true events.</li><li>Penny Arcade comes out three times a week with another "strip"</li><li>THEREFORE Penny Arcade has an unrealistic concept of <a href="http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/08/22">time</a> and<a href="http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2000/11/13"> place</a>.</li></ol>I don't know who reads this, but boy are they going to be embarrassed when they figure this out. I don't hate the people, I just hate the comic. Here's a quick rundown of the details:<br /><br />The Art: <a href="http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2001/04/04">At least it's American.</a> I'm tired of all these dogs who try to draw but every time they draw a collar they just raise questions. It's not like this happens automatically.<br /><br />The Writing: I've read a lot of things. Books, pamphlets, brochures, bulletins, power point presentations, newspapers, closed captioning, street signs, antique store signs, articles, magazines, plaques and baseball scoreboards. None of them were<a href="http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2001/11/26"> like this</a>.<br /><br />And that's really all I have to say, because this is starting to piss me off. Don't read Penny Arcade. You'll only encourage Penny Arcade to keep on being itself and giving me more to get pissed about.<br /><br />-Sonty MickSonty Mickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13559570117056201158noreply@blogger.com29