Tuesday, November 13, 2007

XKCD

OK, so so far I have been doing all these bad comics and to this day none of them has brought me to my knees. However, when I started reading this comic, which is, in my mind, the literary equivalent of accidentally using your mom's toothbrush, I had a sort of a little avalanche in my head. Nothing too serious. Just a mountain goat bleating too loudly, and causing some ice to crack and fall. It didn't knock over any trees, if that's what you're wondering.

XKCD is sort of like the hive of the internet, as in people go in and out of it, all working toward the same cause, and it serves the useful purpose of providing metaphorical pollen for other comics, or "flowers". At the same time, though, I wish it wasn't a part of the process, because XKCD has stung me a grand number of times. As a matter of fact, I'd like to think that the wounds are still in me. It stings like if you were to loose your father, or maybe be emotionally distant from him.

What does it mean to be human? XKCD tries so hard to answer this, but in the end, it turns out to be kind of a stupid question, because no human would read XKCD. Not even a human who didn't know how to love his son, or a robot that was just discovering how to be human.

Take a look at this strip?

It's apparent from this appalling installment that XKCD can't be expected to deliver. It's like the pizza guy just kind of went slack-jawed and didn't even do a thing. It's like the flower shop had a wilting party.

Sometimes it's a perky situation in XKCD. Sometimes we see ideas fall. Sometimes there is love and romance. But there's an ingredient missing...Oh yes there is. Not all love is romance, and somebody forgot about it. Maybe somebody shoved it screaming into a closet and yelled. Maybe somebody hasn't dealt with their past.

Sometimes when I read XKCD I am reminded of episodes from my own life that haunt me. I'm trying not to make this personal, but I just don't like to look at a comic and remember my first dead pet.

The characters:

Stick man: I can't figure this guy out. He's sometimes so open, but he never actually does any leaping off the page. He tells me things, and he talks to me, but I think it's all a front to justify who he is when nobody is watching. I resent him, but in a way I want to be like him.

Stick man with hat: He feels so distant... He's authoritative and he can discipline, but he has problems. Probably with alcohol and with not feeling the same love that he used to. I think that he wants to move on, but I'm terrified.

Sleeping girl: All she can do now is sleep. There is nothing for her when she is awake.

Velociraptor: The big problem with the velociraptors in this comic is that it is too obvious that they symbolize God. Way to hit us over the head with a keyboard from the seventies.

XKCD is more than a comic. It's a metaphor for a life that is just not working right. It's a sigh. It's a cry out for attention. It's a little boy who was raised by a television, and then we wonder why he lashes out and breaks the neighbors arm, and then he has to visit him at the hospital, but he doesn't want to and he screams until his mother says he doesn't have to go to the hospital but for once she would like to have a normal family.

I want to see a different XKCD.

An XKCD that gives hope to certain people who didn't have the best childhoods.

This is what I want to see:

That's what the real readers want. They want something that will comfort them for things that have happened in their lives. I'm sure that every person in the world can relate to at least one part of that comic that I just drew. Even if your dog didn't die, maybe your mom still yelled a lot. There is something here for everybody.

Now let's compare that with another real XKCD.

As you can see, XKCD doesn't really understand the real emotions. Just the fake ones that we put on. The ones that make us seem interesting, or that provoke a thought of attraction in a woman. This is just the kind of thing that makes us all wish that our grandpa had never done what he did in the garage. It makes us all wish we hadn't seen the things we had seen. It makes us all wish that our mothers had never had to tell us that it was going to be a long time before we could go back home again, because we changed the locks but we're never safe if a certain person knows where we live.

So that's XKCD for you. Flat and not real.

Sonty out.

(((~~$$~~Sonty Mick~~$$~~)))

98 comments:

Oliver Clements said...

Painfully unfunny.

The blog, natch.

Corinne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

haha nice

Anonymous said...

Seems like your parents didn't love you. After reading this I would have to say that I cannot blame them one bit.

john said...

oh my goodness i am so angry angry angry stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp

Anonymous said...

sonty you said exactly what i was thinking.

xkcd is like leaving halloween decorations up until thanksgiving. Why do you have halloween decorations anyway?

SenB said...

Your blog could be hilariously satirical... making fun of blogs that review webcomics (after all entire blogs dedicated to reviewing webcomics IS a rather ridiculous concept) is a relatively novel idea, and if it were done right it could be both scathing towards the genre and funny.

As it is, it fails.

The only way it becomes apparent that you're not being serious in your reviews is if one has actually read the comics you're reviewing (better yet, read some webcomic review sites, so as to understand the basis of your parody). If one were to read your reviews before having read the comics--which for most people is the logical order of events when it comes to something being reviewed--they would not be able to tell that you are subtly joking, and it would turn them off to a bunch of great comics. After reading the comments you receive, it's clear that most people dont understand that you're being satirical at all.

In other words: not a bad idea, but terribly executed.

Either that, or you're being serious with your reviews, not making fun of webcomic review sites, and are just a failure of a reviewer. The comics you claim are so bad, are some of the funniest and most clever online.

In either case, your blog is dull and uninteresting... the angry-rant style of writing you employ is long since played out and stale. And worse still, unlike your opinion in regard to webcomics, my opinion about your blog seems to be fairly universally agreed upon. Whoops!

Dr.Beardface said...

This is made of fail.
XKCD is brilliant.

Leslie said...

xkcd is for those among us who don't wallow in self-pity. It's for those of us who are filled with awe for the ordinary, not those who seek to fill emptiness with bland fiction.

It's for people with an intelligent sense of humor, not a chip on their shoulder.

Dogs die, man. Get over it.

Comic Book Guy said...

Worst. Review. Ever

Matt said...

Ummmmm, NO.

XKCD just rocks.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe people think the joke of this blog is really subtle. You don't need to have read other review sites or even the comics linked to in order to get that it's a joke. All you need is one single shred of an ability to detect irony.

Just one!

This review was entirely about how sad a childhood "Sonty Mick" had. It wasn't about the comic at all! Come on, people!

Anonymous said...

Dear Sonty Mick,

If I had awards to give you would have won them all.

Anonymous said...

IF YOU LIKE XKCD AND HATE "SAINTLY" MICK THEN YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS ASPERGERS!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Don't listen to them Sonty you have won Awards and they have not.

Anonymous said...

You know what is subtle, Sonty Mick?

Me punching your stupid ugly mean face. That is subtle. When I punch your face with my fist which is wrapped in bricks.

xkcd is the best thing ever and i know this because i have a sens of humour not like you who clearly doesnt know what humour is because you are to busy being subtle and punched in the face.

The Sick Monty said...

*Remember this name, Sonty Mick. It is the name of the dude with a fist wrapped with a brick.

Anonymous said...

http://gurl.typepad.com/gurl_comix/rachel_nabors/index.html

Sonty Mick said...

Anonymous, is this your way of telling me that you want me to review that comic? Are you giving me the kind of thing that one would put in a "suggestion box?" Is this a comic that you hate and want a bad review written for?

Or could it be that it is YOUR comic? And you want it to be publicized on an award-winning blog?

Or perhaps you are just using my award-winning blog as a place to post your url to advertise.

Or are you, perhaps, a lesbian? (If you are I respect your opinions about who you should have sex with)

Sonty Mick said...

That would make sense. If you were still in the closet you would not want people to know your name, so that's why you would be anonymous.

It's OK. We support you.

Anonymous said...

What in God's name are you talking about?

thedufer said...

I truly hope you are kidding. Having read the comments here, it is clear that you have no idea what you are talking about. Not only do I read the comic regularly, but so do many of my friends. I'm not sure what you won an award for, but it must have been meaningless for this piece of trash to get it. Your review is neither funny nor true.

Anonymous said...

This is the first one reviewed of which I can safely say I hate all the fans. XKCD has the worst followers.

Sam said...

"The only way it becomes apparent that you're not being serious in your reviews"
Wait, what? You aren't? Oh. Thank God. XKCD will eat you.

jope said...

It's great that these fans of xkcd (a smart webcomic) are so dumb that they take this review seriously.

Akira said...

Hn. I'm afriad I don't see the humor. I'm assuming this to be a satire of some sort, but I don't get it.

Anonymous said...

everytime a new xkcd comes out which concerns itself with something I have done, thought about, discussed (very frequently) is proof that xkcd is indeed very real, and not at all flat.

Siddharth said...

It's tough to be funny when your rambling thoughts don't make any sense.

You need to find a new thing, big guy...

Anonymous said...

XKCD is for those of us who realize life is not all about happy endings and trophy wives and who is better than who and all that shit. It's for those of us who live in reality. It's for the intelligent. It's for the insane. It's not for fairytale douche-bags like you.

Happy Trails! Cunt.

I honestly hope you were kidding.

Anonymous said...

Jeepers.

Calm down kids.

Why can't we all be friends?

Siddharth said...

My daddy always said, disagree with the person, not their ideas.

So, no, we can't all be friends.

JFarceur said...

Wow, your wish has been fulfilled :
http://xkcd.com/346/

Have a nice day.

Anonymous said...

I'm quite surprised how few of the xkcd fans have seen the sarcasm in this blog. I had hoped xkcd was relatively free from rabid fanboys. It appears I was mistaken.

Anyway, I was linked to this by a smart xkcd fan who posted in the xkcd forums. I have never read a webcomic review before, but I have to say that you are a master of sarcasm, and I found the article lovely.

Anonymous said...

That was the height of satire right there. You gave the verisimilitude of conviction about the quality of XKCD. However you did not belittle the audience and left if for them to find your signs that this involve the proper use of irony. Also excellent links and the "good comic" was even more hilarious.

from canada said...

Fahrenheit 321 - The temperature at which WebComics burn.

Anonymous said...

"you take forever to say nothing."

Jason said...

What we have here is fail. Here, not so much.

Marthnn said...

I'm an XKCD fan, and no, I didn't get the sarcasm/satire on the first reading. I would guess that I am not used enough to reading this kind of articles ; if I was, I'd say that your "good comic" gave it away the most.

So, not my style at all. Meaning that, basically, I don't like your blog. But still, like JFarceur pointed out, my opinion is that Randall answered your article with a comic tonight.


Now can you stop saying that those anonymous commentators are lesbians? It doesn't make any sense.
. . .
Ohh, right... not my style. Ok, I'm off now :)

Anonymous said...

Hey, if you want a REAL bad webcomic to review, try this on for size:

http://www.drunkduck.com/Powerup_Comics/index.php

Anonymous said...

I haz lezbo tendecies?

Anonymous said...

After reading this I can only conclude that you have more issues than TV Guide.

keith said...

Maybe if I read some more of sonty's stuff I'd get a taste for his humor. As it is I didn't laugh until I saw the aspergers comment, which is among the more ridiculously awesome things I've ever read.

JFarceur said...

After keith's comment, I searched to know what where aspergers.

This was, indeed, a very funny comment!

Anonymous said...

What's funny about asparagus?

Iso said...

You got your wish. http://xkcd.com/346/

Anonymous said...

Ugh...I can`t believe I just wasted all this time to read a review written by someone who clearly lacks a) the ability to write coherently and spell well b) the sense of humor required to make something like this fly c) substance.

lame, at best.

woonie said...

See iso's comment. (2nd before mine)

Indeed, Randall takes suggestions seriously. He seems to love yours so much it took only 3 updates before he published your idea. =)

"I'm back, son."

Anonymous said...

This article and it's author fail miserably. You hardly have any point besides the fact that your brain does not seem equipped to understand xkcd.

*sighs*

Anonymous said...

You do realize that "loose" is the opposite of "tight." I think the word you were looking for is spelled "lose."

Eagle773 said...

Maybe it's because I don't read this blog, but I'm confused.

Why make a blog about kidding about good webcomics? Why not just say the comics are good? Or better yet, why not review comics that are actually bad? This whole satire thing makes no meaningful sense. At least not in this poor example.

Go away. Get funny. Come back.

Your parents will finally love you.

Beelzebub said...

i hate you, with a passion, a lot, very much so, totally, the amount i hate you is inconceivable.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant satire. I'm sorry that very few people appear to be seeing it for what is.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! I really liked your comic.

Anonymous said...

you know what? it seems that you are jealous. Randall rocks! and I just look forward to the next XKCD. When I read it, 99.9% of the time Randall delivers! I know life sucks (yeah, like somebody said "dogs die, get over it"), yeap, life sucks, but we have a great comic here. Long live XKCD!

PS: your comic was just a mirror, maybe you need therapy.

Ash said...

I have no clue what you were trying to say in that whole post. It took me half of it to figure out that you wanted to complain about the comic, but even in complaining about characters I still had no clue what you were trying to say.

Plus, you didn't point out any flaws. You just said "look at this, this is bad, I don't like this."

I'm in favour of people having their own opinions, but explain yourself more clearly at least.

Herman said...

i have never gone to a site, read once review and never wanted to come back. if you are going to review a comics online....atleast have a sense of humor. or if you do have one you need to be able to understand the humor. for the computer geek/math geeks out there this stuff is totally true. every other xkcd comic i read i can honestly say that it reminds me of a time when something like that happened. the romance makes me smile, the humor makes me laugh what more should anyone ask for in a comic? i'm sorry that you cant seem to understand that.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was pretty amusing. If you need something making funny of angry maddoxian webcomic reviews to have giant signs on it saying, "MAN PEOPLE WHO WRITE ANGRY WEBCOMICS HATE STUFF SUCK A LOT HUNH HUNH HUNH, LOOK, I AM PRETENDING TO BE ONE LOLZ" you are probably not the sort of person who would appreciate it anyway.

But, maybe I just have a defective funny bone. Who knows.

Anonymous said...

So is this supposed to be a satire? All the comics that were linked where pretty funny. Reminds me of college days where nachos and cheese were considered a meal. And you really always did run out of one or the other. I guess its only funny to people who've lived in dorms...

Anonymous said...

Painfully obvious and poorly done. Your satirical skills are in desperate need of repair.

The_Ghost said...

Unless you understand this comic: http://xkcd.com/45/ you don't deserve to review XKCD. If you are trying to be funny, well... I'm terribly sorry, you must be a truly tortured soul to think anything you have written is funny.

Wendel said...

I am a truly xkcd fan, and i can say that this review is obviously "ironic" (on some wrong meaning for "ironic", but i don't care =p)

Do you "so-called fans" really believe he really thinks http://xkcd.com/140/ or even http://xkcd.com/89/ could bring him any haunting memories from childhood !? O_o

Maybe i should put it better this way: Do you really believe he believes that the 'raptors are a symbolism for God !!?!?!1!?/!?eleven!?

Sonty Mick, next time, put a tag < sarcasm > ... < /sarcasm > on your post.

Guys, if you don't understand this post, you don't deserve reading xkcd ;-)

Anonymous said...

"All you need is one single shred of an ability to detect irony.

Just one!"

Hey, kids. Can you say "hyperbole"?

Anonymous said...

Err... How many levels of irony are going on here? Are the people angry about the review also ironic? How about the people angry about the angry people? My irony dosimeter just turned black. Got to go...

Anonymous said...

What I find funny, is that you've taken your time to read so many of his comics.

Katoh said...

You've read me like a book without a cover

Katoh said...

You've read me like a book without a cover

Anonymous said...

Apparently, xkcd isn't for people with any kind of a grasp on satire.

Anonymous said...

I didn't even bother reading through it, because it was so poorly written.

Nathan said...

The worst part of XKCD is how INCREDIBLY pretentious the fans are. "XKCD is for smart, REAL people! We're the gritty neo-anti-heros who know what's what, we deal with REALITY!"
::rolls eyes, evil grin, etc::

Anonymous said...

Real people read xkcd. If you'd ever bothered to look past the seemingly minimalistic stick-figures and plot... webcomics aren't supposed to represent all of life. Slices.

Will said...

I don't know which was more painfully smug, xkcd itself (which is brilliant, if painfully smug) or this satire, which got lost in the author's unresolved issues. oh wait. yes. not so much a painfully smug review of xkcd, the review itself was fairly thoughtful and flat; it was the getting lost in problems with the psyche, and how that's what the author of the review thinks everyone wants to read.

Now THAT'S painfully not just smug, but presumptuous as well.

Keep it up, I'll keep reading. Thought provoking at least, if not downright funny.

King Tharg said...

You have no right to insult xkcd, its better than you will ever be, and all you have is jelousy

Mal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

YOU SUCK


ps is it weird that my penis is of a different ethnicity then me. Im hispanic but my penis is african american

Anonymous said...

I just have to say... You looked way too far into everything.

I highly doubt that velociraptors are a metaphor for god... You've got to be kidding, right?

It's also very sad that you can't appreciate wit... apparently everything needs to be spelled out for you with happy endings. Disney was never my thing.

Catharine said...

All these "Oh, Sonty Mick! You unloved bastard! How can you be so wrong about what a joy it would be to spin about in a hamster ball! You are a horrible horrible excuse for living meat that writes a blog about criticizing XKCD, the greatest thing since I wished fairies would fly out of my butt when the sun came up and found out that other people who can only draw stick figures feel the same way!" responses just confirm the truth: xkcd is lame and those that think it is an amazing webcomic have not much to think about while they dream about what kind of fairy tramp-stamp tattoo to get during their work day in the cubicle since they can't bear to think about how they have nothing to look forward to when they get home. What was new was the revelation of how, when someone espouses a view that contradicts their own about this sad excuse for a webcomic, seriously hostile and violent supporters of dreamy-go-nowhere-talentless webcomics are in actuality, since a contrary view to them becomes to them an attack on their personal unfulfilled wistful selves.

Thanks for uncovering what a tremendous amount of hypocrisy is at the meaningless core of xkcd fans.

Anonymous said...

You are great. God you're great. XKCD is indeed a terribly over rated comic, and I heartily agree with your interpretation of the comic.

David said...

Well I must say I certainly enjoyed reading all these posts. It has turned into quite the little flame-fest.

But what I enjoy even more than that is scrolling up and down this polka-dot background. It looks freaky on my screen.

Anonymous said...

It's funny reading the comments. First they think this isn't a satire, then it's a satire, but a bad one... then they take it seriously and say "yeah, xkcd sucks"

Anonymous said...

xkcd is so pathetic it's almost hilarious.

Bryce H. said...

somehow i can't really take this seriously, either you are very socially naturalistic (think: steinbeck) or you just gave xkcd the best review possible, why would xkcd write things for people who haven't had good lives? because it isn't romantically (in the broader sense) uplifting and sublime, why would it present things that don't happen in real life? because it presents the beautiful, hilarious, and/or ideal portions of life, i think you know this, your forced bad review of it (and it did read of being very forced) speaks wonders to what i hope is your admiration for it, but i might be wrong, the internet is full of idiots

Anonymous said...

Good Day!!! webcomicssobad.blogspot.com is one of the most outstanding informational websites of its kind. I enjoy reading it every day. webcomicssobad.blogspot.com rocks!

Anonymous said...

Hi, I can’t understand how to add your site in my rss reader. Can you Help me, please :)

charleston forge furniture said...

Of course, what a great site and informative posts with furniture, I will bookmark this site.

Anonymous said...

unbind internet casinos
deposit casino bonuses bonus play free
free online hold em poker
casino betting software
best casino bets
detract professional status roulette whither
las vegas wonderful casino vip
online novel casinos
us online slot games
superb casinos
online casino intention not cede winnings
pachislo 4 advert slit machines
on line casino defeat
flamingo casino las vegas nv
college basketball betting
emerald epitome casino
usa casino free play
turbo position
monopoly casino profession downloads
narrative casinos las vegas nv
mp3 player sd expansion slit
let go online casino no set bonus
super casino
unrestricted meet internet opening
golden nugget casino competition
las vegas casinos undressed
slot games
las vegas guild casino las vegas
us player casino bonus
negative effects gambling

Anonymous said...

Easier on turns!

Anonymous said...

I have to admit, I was at first inclined to take the post seriously. Upon second look, though, it finally hit me that the author was not trying to be serious.It was interesting to read, but if something takes two reads for even a devoted xkcd fan (and I would say I am pretty devoted) to detect the sarcasm, then it was perhaps a little too subtle.

Anonymous said...

I'm mad as hell about webcomics

Anonymous said...

So many stupid people here who don't actually understand the article!

Anonymous said...

Next time make it a bit shorter to match the average attention span of average web comic readers so you might get more positive feedback.

They might even look at your drawing at the end - quite funny actually - makes it almost worth the time reading your entire posting.

Anonymous said...

I think most people here overanalyze this. The way i see things XKCD is just boring, plain and simple.

Joe said...

I'll be fair and honest. Sometimes, XKCD is quite amusing, and every once in a while it makes a valid or intersting point. But most of the time it's just incredibly pretentious; it self consciously strives to be "the thinking man's web comic".

But possibly more annoying than the comic itself are its fans who email them around to each other in a fairly obvious attempt to showcase how smart they are that they find a joke about - say - Browninan motion or an allusion to Goedel's Incompleteness Theorem to be amusing. It's often called "geek humor" but it's really best described as "smug humor". It's all about the strip's author showing us how smart he (thinks he) is which provides an opportunity for his fans to subsequently conspicuously display their appreciation for his 'smart' humor and in so doing indicate how smart THEY are. It's obnoxious.

Anonymous said...

my asian lesbian penis is no lovey-doveyy of yo . th smarye mam is no service to my big black booty shakin' it all around town.

Guilherme Balan said...

Man, are people seriously saying that this awesome article fails because a lot of people don't get it? If you think jokes have to be explained to be funny, why are you reading XKCD at all, to begin with? Ilaughed a lot with this text and I think the authos is hilarious! Congrats from the future for you, chap (since it's 2012 already)

Anonymous said...

I am selling tickets to Disneyworld!!!

Anonymous said...



Stop by my site; buy facebook likes 300

Unknown said...

I can't tell whether or not this is a really awful attempt at parodying uptight critics or whether you're just retarded in both a literal and metaphorical sense.

Anonymous said...

Did you see the beautiful panoramas?

http://xkcd.com/1110/

It's true that most xckd don't have deep emotions but this one made me cry.