Sunday, December 16, 2007

White Ninja Comics

OK so there is going to be something a little different today. I know this might come as a large surprise to a good many of you, but I, Sonty Mick, am taking a night class from community college. Maybe you thought I was too old for college. Nope. You are never too old to get a little more of the good stuff (education). I am hoping that I will become an even better writer from this, and win even more awards.

Anyway, I am taking a class about writing good papers. It is also about editing them and researching them. I have sort of a brief research paper due, and so this next post will actually be my paper! I just submitted it for grading, and I will definitely let you know how it goes. It was hard because I was not allowed to write in first person.

Argumentative Paper
(((==~||~~{Sonty Mick}~~||~==)))
Advanced Composition

White Ninja Comics is So Bad

Every day days get just a tiny bit longer. You don't notice it, because I think that time gets slower or something too so it's the same from your perspective, but nothing can go fast forever. Famous people have said quotes about that kind of thing, but I couldn't find it online, and I seriously spent 45 minutes in the library and it was a total waste of time.

There has been a pretty good amount of discussion, a decent amount anyway, on what it is that makes a work of fiction a good one or a bad one. Sometimes that work of fiction can even be a comic that may be good or bad (Versaci 34), such as Blondie or Powerup Comics. It may be hard to believe, but the comic could even perhaps be considered a webcomic if it on the world wide web (internet).

It is one of these online webcomics that we must turn our heads to in focus with the lasers that make up the point of our eyes. Only in looking beyond ourselves can we find the rich resources that comics will provide for us on the web. It is on this web, which is like a sea of information, only withoout the sea and with more information, that we will find the topic that requires discussion here: White Ninja Comics.

In this paper, it will be proven through a good argument that by objective standards, White Ninja Comics is to be considered a bad webcomic. It is a bad webcomic for three reasons: The first reason is that the comic is written in a style that does not have literary depth, the second reason is that the comic looks like it came out of a butt, and the the third reason is that the characters in the comic are too hard to tell apart from each other, and most of them are ugly. There are other reasons, but hey, who even cares? I am not getting payed by the word here (that's an old writing joke. I don't need to cite it because I think it's a part of our cultural consciousness.)

First of all, I think that someone had better shed some light on the matter of web comics and and the web in general. The internet is sometimes a difficult concept to understand. What is it? Where did it come from? Well if you are confused about the internet, then maybe you need to understand the extent to which the internet is used. Here is a graphical representation from Wikipedia about how many people around the world use the internet:

As you can see, the internet is a network that reaches all over the world, and people from differrent cultures are able to use it for whatever they want, including comics. Webcomics are just comics that are on this network, and include a lot of different big names in comics. There are even certain blogs that are all about webcomics and whether or not they are good. (Mick)

OK, the first reason that the comic is so bad is that there is no literary depth in the style. There is a lot of information available about metaphor in writing, and it's easy to get bogged down by it, but here are the basics of metaphor: Metaphor is something that is often used in literature and if it is done well then it can be very good. (Polvinen 55)

What kinds of metaphor can we find in White Ninja Comics? In the installment entitled "White Ninja Eats a Dead Man" we see one end of the scale. Here the ninja character is just being himself and just giving you a taste of what makes his world the different version of our world that it is. Do you notice anything about the literary depth here though? I think you will need to look hard, but if you do you will see that there is not a lot. When the officer shows up we are not even treated to an interesting piece of dialog. It is just White Ninja speaking without developing his character.

What does it mean to be human? White Ninja Comics could have answered that question in the episode entitled "White Ninja's Robot Wife", but that did not end up happening. While the comic strip makes an attempt at answering the question by blurring the lines between woman and machine, White Ninja is more interested in eating chicken than he is in giving us a glimpse into the transcendant. It does not answer, or even seriously consider the question of what it means to be human, and this is a major downfall from many perspectives. (Hand 11)

In the episode called "White Ninja's Pig" we get what should be an opportunity to examine the relationship between mankind and the animal kingdom. It is important for a comic to make a good point and this comic does not do that. (Polvinen 113) In this particular strip we get what seems like an ordinary exchange between these guys, but they are really having an exchange that has a lot of tension even though it doesn't seem to be sexual tension. Maybe the tension here is trying to be a metaphor for sex. It doesn't work.

And so as you can clearly see, White Ninja Comics has no literary value at all. Might as well just read nothing.

The second point about White Ninja Comics that needs to be understood is that the comic looks literally like it was drawn with a butt rather than with a hand. This is because the art is so ugly, and because butts are not very good for writing. There are no scholarly sources about how good butts are for writing. It is a field that most scientists are uncomfortable to do experiments about.

In the White Ninja Comic entitled "White Ninja In: Hottie Alert", White Ninja seems to think that a certain woman is hot. Well he must have strange taste in women or something, because the women that we see all drawn up here is not an attractive one. She has saggy boobs. Research online will show you that even if White Ninja comes from Japan (the land of ninjas) then even in his culture, saggy boobs are not considered attractive. It looks like this is a clear instance of the art not living up to what one would expect. (Physical Attractiveness)

In the installment called "White Ninja Doesn't Like to Drink", we see the eponymous ninja is having a cup of flour, which appears to be nice. What is happening in that fourth panel though? White ninja has closed his eyes, and even though this could be considered a symbol of blocking out the outside world, he is actually saying something that he wants to communicate with the outside world. So this piece of artwork is actually misleading, and it actually hurts the argument that some people might make that White Ninja has OK art. (Meskin Par. 4)

Also if you read the rest of the comics you will notice that they are also really really ugly.

So, as outlined here, we are made aware that the artwork in this comic is really bad, and it should not be looked at by anybody. Especially real people like you. Who knows what could happen? Maybe you'd even have to go to a funeral.

OK so the third point that absolutely needs to be made here is that the characters in this comic are too hard to tell apart from each other, and it's impossible to tell which one is which. The most obvious example that I could possibly think of is that there are probably several characters who are white ninjas but they are clearly not the same guy. Like look at the comic entitled "White Ninja Longs to Be Married" and you will see that White Ninja wants some chick to propose for him then it is unclear if he proposes to a guy or if he is just joking. But then in "White Ninja's Wife Gives Birth", he is completely married to a woman who is giving birth.

These two White Ninjas look the same.

There are a bunch of other examples but they are completely boring and if you actually care about any of this crap then you can just go ahead and research it all by yourself because I have seriously done enough research. Seriously, Go see some things for yourself, Don't be caged in by a society that tells you that you need a lid for a sprite when you go to a Mc D's.

In conclusion, White Ninja Comics is very bad, and the three reasons that it is so bad is because the writing has no literary depth, because the art is as horrible as crap, and because the characters all look exactly like clones of each other, and I don't mean actual science clones because they don't always look just like the original (Skipper par. 6). I mean sci-fi style clones.

Thank you for reading my paper.

Works Cited

Bevan, S, and Earle, K. White Ninja Comics. 2002-present.

Mick, Sonty and Satiricus, Gaius. These Web Comics are So Bad. (Award winning credible source)

Polvinen, Merja. "The Ends of Metaphor". European Journal of English Studies, Dec 2007, Vol. 11 Issue 3, p273-284

Versaci, Rocco.
This Book Contains Graphic Language: Comics As Literature. Continuum International Publishing Group. London. 2007

Hand, Elizabeth. "Writing Literary Science Fiction". Writer.
Jan95, Vol. 108 Issue 1, p11, 4p

Meskin, Aaron. "Defining Comics?". Journal of Aesthetics and Art Criticism. Oct2007, Vol. 65 Issue 4, p369-379, 11p

Skipper, Magdelina. "In the News: More than Nine Lives". Nature Reviews genetics. Apr2002, Vol. 3 Issue 4, p234-234, 1p

"Physical Attractiveness". (15 December 2007). In Wikipedia, The free encyclopedia. Retrieved December 15, 2007, from

"The Internet". (15 December 2007). In Wikipedia, The free encyclopedia. Retrieved December 15, 2007, from

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Gunnerkrigg Court

I don't know how I do it.

I surprise myself sometimes.

I've come up with a new review concept today, and I'm hoping that I can kick it off in this post and give you all just a little touch of astonishment as I transcend utilitarian blogging, and actually make it more of an art form. I am going to do this by just writing just a little bit of poetry. Read this poem that I wrote, and then maybe check and see if you can tell what comic I am reviewing today:

She is independent, and she looks
To another place not her own
She is to nature as a man to his loyal dog
Who squats by his side and is uneasy.
Who can give me a taste of this?
Not you.
You can only give me a breath

And that's the breath that dies out
When I see that you are a waste
And I give you nothing.

OK, do you have anything that resembles an idea what I'm talking about? Think hard. There are clues in there.

I'm talking about Gunnerkrigg Court.

Gunnerkrigg Court is a comic that has court in the name, but it's not the kind of court that you would think. Well, I think it's time that somebody took Gunnerkrigg Court to court to have a trial and see if it's a bad comic. Maybe it will even be sentenced to prison.

OK, now let's open up this case. (raps with gavel on circle of wood). Now I know that there are people out there who will tell you things like that Gunnerkrigg is something that mankind should not be ashamed of. Perhaps you've even seen them on an internet forum, or in a booth together at your local pizza restaurant. They might have even looked at you, and you might have even wondered if you knew them. This is normal. A lot of people don't know how to react to certain social situations. That's what they base shows like Candid Camera off of.

Exhibit A: Gunnerkrigg Court is made by Tom Siddell. It's always unnerving to find out the name of the parent behind the name that you already know. For instance: You all know Taco Bell and Pizza Hut, and some of you may even have heard of KFC, but did you know that they are owned by a parent company called "Yum"? It's not what you'd expect, is it? It's kind of a dry feeling in your mouth, isn't it? It kind of makes fast food taste like sand.

Where to start...where to start...

Let's try the beginning. As you can see, this is typical comic fare. A girl and some black shadows. I guess we won't be calling the newspapers and asking them to change the headlines to something about Gunnerkrigg Court, huh? Looks like we'll be leaving this one for the ravens.

Exhibit B: The main character is a girl who is all at once ordinary, tenacious, fearful, understated and on-edge. Wow, nice move, Tom (not). That really works. It looks like he just took a character that would fit into an office comic like Dilbert and then made her younger and put her in a different setting where she didn't have the proper dynamic. Is this the kind of character who you want to see on a mousepad, but not saying something about coffee? I sure don't, and you probably don't either. This is some really good evidence in the case against Gunnerkrigg Court. I have a feeling the defense attorney won't be objecting to that statement!

Exhibit C: The art in this comic is OK, but it never gives me the kinds of feelings that I get when I'm driving alone and I hum to myself softly because I can't be absolutely certain if there's nobody in the back seat, so I don't want to go all out and sing, because what if there is someone, and I just forgot? In the face of this strong evidence, I think that we may need to consider that Gunnerkrigg Court may be very guilty.

Now let's cross examine the witness: Her best friend is another girl and she has dark hair. Why is it that sidekicks like her always have dark hair? I have seen it in at least two other comics, but I don't have time to list them here. Do your own research for once, it won't kill you. It might even give you a good reason to stop off at the library. While you're there, even if you don't like books, they will probably have some movies.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, there is also a living shadow that is alive. That's basically like saying that a child's thimble can be alive, come on, people! Plus there is a robot, which is something that you wouldn't expect in a comic like this, but it has to be there. Whatever. I can't argue with that, because you can't argue with that kind of incompetence. You can only argue against it. ;)

Not that it's uncool to be bald, but robots are pretty much always bald.

Who could ever live in a world like the one in this comic? If this happened in real life, we could all die.

Do you want to die?

Then don't read Gunnerkrigg Court!

I rest my case!

OK, now it's time for the verdict...Drumroll everyone!

Looks like we won't be hearing from Gunnerkrigg Court anytime soon...

And it looks like my job here is done.

Until next time, don't do anything illegal, because the eagle eye of Sonty Mick is always watching!

((^^~~~Sonty Mick~~~^^))

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Fanart and letters

Hello all of my many readers, and welcome back to more of Sonty Mick and his amazing blog. I hope that you are all ready on a personal level to just kick back. Seriously, for me, just take off your shoes and give it a rest. No full review yet today, just a quick little post with a few things I've received lately.

First off, I got this mysterious email from a guy. He didn't tell me his name or anything, but I guess that he wanted to be anonymous. He is apparently some sort of man in comics, so I will just present for you this letter that I received:

Dear Sonty,

I stumbled upon your website while looking for old videos of Yakov Smirnoff on the internet, and the moment I laid eyes on it I was transfixed by its brilliance. I don't want to brag, but I am the creator of a popular syndicated cartoon strip. I want to be discreet, so I won't reveal the name, but let's just say that it's about an overweight cat who hates "the mondays."

I'll be honest with you, Sonty: I wish I was as smart as you. Some days I feel like it's all I can do to get by. I mean, can you imagine waking up every day with the burden of coming up with a new idea for a hilarious comic? Now I'm just being silly. Of course you can. You could probably write a better comic in the nude. I don't know why I just typed that. Oh well it's too late to take it back now. Me, I don't know if I could do it without my staff of 57 artists, writers, and licensing business executives.

Oh Sonty, do you ever just feel that you're dead inside? I think for me it happened after my 35th book. I was at a dinner party and instead of asking someone to pass me the coffee I said, "Just hand over the coffee and no one gets hurt." And they all just sort of chuckled nervously and looked around at each other. I realized that I used that line every single time I had ever wanted coffee in my entire life. It was then that I began to wonder if maybe I was born without a soul.

I felt so bad that I excused myself and went home, and I had to run my hands through the little bowl of diamonds that I keep on my desk for at least a minute before the feeling passed.

But enough about me. Sonty, please don't let the pack of gibbering hyenas who comment on your posts get you down. They're just jealous because they are mostly a bunch of bitter lesbians. But I don't need to tell you that. You are like a golden god, come to judge the layers of stinking crap dumped onto the internet every day by the diseased brains of the communists and the pedophiles and the two-bit hacks that inhabit this internet. I say in all honesty I think you would look amazing dressed up and posed like Michaelangelo's David. I only hope I am not judged and found wanting. Sonty, remember me when you come into your kingdom.


Your Biggest Fan

Now I don't really know where this guy is coming from (I can think of fifteen comics that would seriously fit the description that he gave), but this guy is at least recognizing the need for reform in web comics. I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

OK, I also got a new fanart and a new award. Things have been kind of slow I guess. Everybody must think that there fanart is not good enough or something. This is from Lillian Bucket, and so is the award.

This is a pretty good picture. Don't know why I'm blue... Maybe it's a metaphor for the blues, because I listen to the music of different races and bring cultures together...

Now here is the award:

Oh wait, it looks like I have another fanart up my sleeve! I guess you never know what I personally am about to do next! This one is from somebody whose name is Chris.

That's all that I have for you tonight. Don't worry, though. It will not be too long until you can get another fix of The Mick.

(((~~~@-@-Sonty Mick-@-@~~~)))