Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Thinkin' Lincoln

*blows dust and spiders off of computer screen with glove, and takes a little polite bow*

Hello my loyal readers and thanks for sticking around while I went on an internal journey to find myself (SURPRISE!). Boy, what an eventful couple of weeks it's been, huh? I can smell the history in the air.

What's that?


Well! Here's a historical comic for you. Oh dear! It looks like it's not a very good one, though...

Where do I even begin to discuss what goes wrong behind the scenes of this comic? (before you ask, the behind the scenes is as much a part of the art as anything) It seems like Miles Grover is a guy who just made up some stuff about some presidents and he said, "You know what? I'm going to call it a night!" And then that's what his comic is.


Looks like we've caught Grover with his digital pants down on this one. Wow. What a display of bad ineptitude. This comic could be written by six fourth-graders working in a committee that doesn't work very well together and takes breaks to eat [fruit] snacks. Yes, this is not even truly a comic. It's the ashes of one. It's a burned out husk of a Bazooka Joe misfire that was probably plagiarized from Laffy Taffy and it's obviously for Dum-Dums and Nerds. (Tried to work Twizzlers in there, but couldn't. Sorry!)

OK, all joking aside, you want to know the real problem? This comic just does not stand up to multiple readings. Observe the following panel:

OK, so this is not a bad panel really, right? I mean, you can read this comic, and after you've read it, you won't feel the urge to get up offa that thang and put on some CDs that your brother left in your room by mistake, and that you would never actually buy, right? Of course! But anybody can make something that isn't horrible once. This panel, like all Thinkin' Lincoln panels, overstays its welcome when you see it--oh, I don't know--Nine times?

Do you see what I mean? If you actually read the panel all those times, then you probably hate it by now, and if not, then you were probably using the technique of staring through it rather than looking directly at it. (old trick)

OK, that's all I have to say about the writing, but what about the art?

The art is just heads.

Sound familiar? Oh yeah. Duh. Evolution (see prev. review). Great, it's good to know that these bad webcomic authors have the ability to rip each other off like a bunch of monkeys with typewriters ripping off Shakespeare. Good job, guys. Yeah, real good.

That's enough. I'm drained.

(~~~~~Sonty Mick~~~~~)


Unknown said...

eh. i really like thinkin' lincoln

pseudonym said...

Same here.

Andrew Bergdahl said...

Hey- I wanted to say this blog is hilarious! I'm trying to decide if this is actually being written by a smart guy, ironically. Like, to lampoon the sort of people who do this? If it is, it's done brilliantly. I will keep reading.

Charlie said...

Rarely does a single comic panel stand nine consecutive readings. That is the most idiotic criticism I have ever heard...and the minimalist art is part of what makes it brilliant.

...And the fact that it was written by a grown man yet sounds like a child is intentional and what makes it acceptable. There are so many things wrong with your critique.

Andrew: If this was an actual room instead of the internet, I would ask you to be my friend.

(If it turns out this blog is actually being ironic, I will feel very stupid)

Simas said...

Are You being ironic? Please tell me you are being ironic. If not, I pitty you for having such a primitive sense of humor. The Jokes are really funny and original. And that art is KING.

Unknown said...

Who the cripple-crap reads the same panel nine times? I can't decide if this is a good joke or a bad review.

Unknown said...

It's unfortunate that you don't understand the type of humor that one can find on Thinkin Lincoln. It feel that it's one of the best comics I've ever read. Th author is obviously very intelligent and uses his talents in the English language to project the 'childsh' intellect that his characters have.

It's a shame that you're so judgemental.

a said...

I love Thinkin Lincoln and I have donated to Miles. Find me another comic that was an evil twin goatee on top of a beard. The dude is like Brian Regan, hilarious and clean. It's a nice rarity that I like.

Amanda said...

The comic is not childish. It is CHILDLIKE. There is a difference.

Soundwave said...

What the cripple craps?

Whaling is illegal?!

Unknown said...

it makes me happy that all of these people disagree with your opinions about this comic. or, you're trying to be sarcastic and everybody's not getting it. either way, you're totally failing at this. you should find something else to do that you won't fail at. macrame is nice. make some nice chinese rugs. just a thought.

Fadeproof Sirrah said...

And I thought my blog was painfully unfunny. Thinkin' Lincoln is by no means brilliant (though I think it's pretty funny), but either you have batshit insane opinions as to what makes webcomics entertaining, or you're dumber than a bag of hammers. Or, you know, this could be satire as others have said...just really bad satire.

I'm really surprised at the fact that, with all of the extensive field research you must be doing, you haven't actually stumbled upon a single "bad" webcomic (except for maybe Evolution), but rather try to take aim at webcomics with an already-established fanbase.

I'm also surprised and a bit disappointed that you attacked Penny Arcade, yet left PvP and Ctrl+Alt+Del "unharmed." Shame on you.

a said...

I still just don't know how the cripple craps anyone could not like this comic.

Sonty Mick said...

I am sorry to hear that your opinions are not the same as mine, but really, even when I am tearing a thing apart, my goal is peace and tolerance.

This I promise.

(~~~Sonty Mick~~~)

Charlie said...

How can you tear something apart while promoting peace and tolerance? That statement seems fundamentally flawed.

Sonty Mick said...

You need to think of this blog as a white flag with words on it.

(((~~~Sonty Mick~~~)))

Unknown said...

I have thoroughly read the entire website and withdraw my previous objections!

Unknown said...

One day, all the webcomics you have wronged (apart from the really shit ones. You know who you are, mr heavy-metal) and will write a scathing review, revealing you to be a candid loner who benefits his e-penis by criticising webcomics, hoping people don't see through his insubstantial reviews.

Stick to reviewing bad webcomics, of which there are plenty, don't slander good ones.

Sonty Mick said...

Stovaa, I don't think that that's possible. These comics have not won as many awards as me. They are objectively bad.

Unknown said...

And some people say a urinal or an animal cut in half and pickled is art.

Doesn't mean the artist is allowed to go around picking Picasso's works apart.

Anonymous said...

Hm. So whoever wrote this review (not that I cared to check) knows nothing about professionalism. "I'm going to point out how nice a webcomic can be, then somehow claim that all the jokes are the same. My method? Replicating a single panel a half-dozen times! Although this is never done in the actual comic, I'm making a point about like, y'know, how jokes can be similar and stuff. And junk. Also, BAAAAWWWW THEY'RE JUST FLOATING HEADS!!!!11 A webcomic needs fancy artwork to be good! Style over substance, man!!!!1 BAAAAAAWWWWWWW"

Eat a dick.

Anonymous said...

Really, repeating a panel can make any comic unfunny.

I don't see why you're coming down so hard on TL. It's silly, but even if you don't like the humor, as a critic you have to acknowledge that TL does entertain its audience, namely people with an immature or easy sense of humor. A critic should help people get a sense of whether or not they'd like to see the comic (or whatever you're critiquing), whether or not they actually like it themselves.

People, don't be so hard on the critic. It's just his opinion. If you don't agree with him, then find a critic that can help you decide what comics you want to read.

That being said, I think this guy is wrong and TL is funny.

Anonymous said...

You make no sense and have no taste either.

Anonymous said...

Hmm... Repeating a single panel that doesn't even have a full joke in it. The fact that that single panel makes me smile (on the first reading of course) is good. The ridiculous way lincoln talks doesn't have to be funny nine times. I doubt he writes it so you can stare a one panel at a time and read them over and over again.

Also... Did you make fun of Penny Arcade? I haven't seen anyone make fun of Penny Arcade before...

Anonymous said...

I also enjoy thinkin lincoln. While rereading that panel so many times it first got annoying then somehow funny again then I realized I had read about this technique before.


Anonymous said...

Breads With The Coolest Face (http://www.thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=188) stands up to at least 29 readings. Preferably, these readings would be daily, with the strip taped to your bathroom mirror.

Anonymous said...

why does all of your blogs have to take out all the good stuff an post all th bad stuff on the internet? if authors wrote the way u wanted, NO ONE WOULD READ THEM. Comics have less flaws than u. Stop criticizing sumin thats more worthy to critique their own comic than u. really.

Michaela R. said...

So I'm wicked late on this.. I was just rereading the entire series of Thinkin' Lincoln (because it's that good!) - and this time I decided to read the notes from Miles underneath the comics.. One of them linked here and I just want to say that you can't read anything 9 times in a row and still think it's funny. That just doesn't work.
Thinkin' Lincoln has a very easy, unassuming manner which is what makes it enjoyable for people. If your head is so far up your ass that you can't appreciate simple humor, then you shouldn't be a webcomic critic. Was it your time of month when you wrote this or something? Seriously, man.
Also, the clip-art effect? THAT'S ON PURPOSE. Grow up.

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